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10 Most Dangerous Toys of All Time!

John P.

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This list is hilarious! According to Radar Magazine these are the worst and most dangerous toys of all time, as defined by their ability to kill, maim and generally be hazardous to the well being of the children to which they were given.

Each toy is linked to the complete page on the Radar website that has a more complete description of the mayhem wreaked by the particular weapon toy.

Here goes then:

Power Wheels Motorcycle10.) Fisher-Price Power Wheels Motorcycle

Eager youngsters who gunned the throttle found that it often stayed gunned, stuck in a petrifying state of perma-acceleration. Presumably, the child on the motorcycle was then taken on a hellish, intestine-twisting scream ride.

Battlestar Launcher9.) Battlestar Galactica Missile Launcher

It takes just a few jabbed eyes, some torn intestines and the death of a child to bring down a party, and that’s just what happened in January 1979, when the battle cruiser missiles were finally recalled.

Johnny Reb Cannon8.) Johnny Reb Cannon

The Reb fired hard, plastic cannonballs with a spring mechanism—the aspiring secessionist need only pull a lanyard. No word on exactly how fast the cannonballs flew, but they traveled up to 35 feet and seemed perfectly sized to lodge into an eye socket, down an open mouth…

Creepy Crawlers7.) Creepy Crawlers

Nothing says safety like an open hot plate. And nothing says fun like using that open hot plate to create molten, rubbery insects you can throw at your sister while narrowly avoiding setting the house ablaze.

At least those who dodged serious injury or disfigurement could safely eat their creation. Oh wait, the critters were toxic, too.

Derringer Belt Gun6.) Bat Masterson Derringer Belt Gun

According to SafeKids USA, “Caps can be ignited by friction and cause serious burns.” Every young boy needs to learn the valuable lesson of always protecting his nether regions, with force if necessary, but given the positioning of the Derringer, the owner’s greatest enemy might have actually been puberty.

Sky Dancer5.) Sky Dancers

Injuries included scratched corneas and temporary blindness, mild concussions, broken ribs and teeth, and facial lacerations that required stitches. Nearly nine million Sky Dancers were eventually recalled, leaving aspiring ballerinas to earn their battle scars the old fashioned way, with an eating disorder.

Snack Time Cabbage Patch4.) Snacktime Cabbage Patch Dolls

With no mechanism to turn off the munching should trouble arise, it was only a matter of time before some cherub’s long blonde hair got caught in the doll’s rabid jaws. After 35 fingers and ponytails fell victim, the Snacktime Kids were removed from retail shelves forever, and 500,000 customers were offered a full $40 refund.

3.) Mini-Hammocks from EZ Sales

Unfortunately, children seeking to spend an afternoon like Gilligan became entangled in the net and strangled to death.

CPSC reported in August 1996 that the product had resulted in the fatal and near-fatal asphyxiation of dozens of kids ages five to 17 and recalled three million of them.

Radioactive Energy Lab2.) Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab

For a mere $49.50, the kit came complete with three “very low-level” radioactive sources, a Geiger-Mueller radiation counter, a Wilson Cloud Chamber (to see paths of alpha particles), a Spinthariscope (to see “live” radioactive disintegration), four samples of Uranium-bearing ores, and an Electroscope to measure radioactivity.

Lawn Darts1.) Lawn Darts!

During their brief (and generally awesome) reign in 1980s suburbia, Jarts racked up 6,700 injuries and four deaths.

About John P.

John P. is a former CEO, former TV Show Host, and currently an unemployed bum. You can find him on Twitter, Facebook and Google+. Feel free to send shoutouts, insults, and praise. Or Money. Money is good.

Comments

  1. PaulC says

    I blame the Spinthariscope for my cataracts! I had a spring dart gun as a kid that i could only load by putting dart on floor and puhsing gun down on it as hard as I could. I hadbtarget on front door and one day missed it and hit the small window pane on door. The dart went right through it and my parents took away my dart gun!
    Of course i still had my chemistry set complete with saltpeter, sulpher,charcoal,etc.,and my BB gun.

  7. Ally says

    Sky dancers were recalled? My sisters and I still have some of those but we haven’t played with them in years.

  9. julia nudeln says

    i`m agree the motorcycle is very dangerous. My daughter and my son will never have it. they have so many funny toys, that they dont miss more dangerous.

  13. smartalek says

    Would it be too cynical to wonder if such toys were purposefully sold as an under-the-radar eugenics program?
    Evolution in action….

  15. Peter Haller says

    Nice, do you remember the company MATELL, they did a very bad job, i think it was last year on poisonous metal in toys or something like that.

  16. Murlu says

    Haha, skydancers.

    I remember my sister had one and I ended up getting annihilated when it flew and hit me in the eye. Went blind for a good portion of the day. You can bet we got rid of it very quickly.

  18. Kay Friel says

    I remember those lawn darts. My son was 8 at the time and wanted me to buy them for his birthday party in June. His friend had a set. I said NO because I was afraid of them throwing them and hitting someone in the eye. My son had a “hissy fit” but didn’t get his way. A month or so later, his friend was playing with them and hit his dog, an expensive trip to the vet!!!!!

  19. Billy Bob says

    I remember my sister having a sky dancer, and my brother and I made hundreds of Creepy Crawlers growing up. We amazingly all managed to survive to adulthood.

  22. Andrea Barrios says

    I totally remember sky dancers… I had one, my sister had one… but we never got hurt… after a while they disappeared from stores, but recently while at a toy store I say a re-vamped version of the originals… so I guess they are back (hopefully not with a vengeance)

  23. Dani says

    Does anyone remember the Vacuform? It melted a sheet of plastic which you then flipped over a mold and furiously pumped out the air. We burned our fingers constantly, but it was the coolest toy.

  24. moserw says

    Wow! Some of them look so dangerous in the pictures. I would never let my kids have most of them. A personal computer is so much better and playing on the beach/or at the pool just perfect for physical exercise.

    • John says

      Hey what happened tot he BB gun? Hours of fun and adventure. If you did not get shot or shoot you buddy, you could always get scraped up or twist an ankle tracking through the woods for prey. I guess once we get a fluffy marshmallow world all the boys can go up to GIRLS. I say bring them back we are interfering with natural selection and evolution.

  33. Alpesh says

    unbelievable!, this kind of toys end ups in market. I have been Fisher-Price fan, buying all kind of Fisher-Price toys for my son and gifting them to other kids on birthdays. Can’t believe even such company produced a hazardous toy as such.

  34. radzone says

    Damn! No wonder I think the way I do – a little demented at times. It all started with the Johnny Reb Cannon, then creepy crawlers (nasty taste, but fun), then the belt gun – what a blast, then the all time scariest was the lawn darts. It was all right until we started playing mumbly-peg – that would hurt. Thanks for the post. It brought back a many fine memories.

  35. Lauren Glenn says

    I remember playing in playgrounds where the ground beneath you was asphalt….. kids hanging upside down on the “monkey-bars” with their lower legs and feet being the only things to keep you from head injury (and parent’s not worring about it).

  36. Rachel says

    i had a skydancer! I had several in fact…i loved then loads. I attempted to find them recently but i dont have them anymore. suspisions are that my parents got rid of them?

  38. TheDane says

    Yes that is absolutely insane. I think the nuclear bomb creation set should be moved up to the first place.

    I would have killed for the Fisher Price Motercycle whan I was a kid though, that one is cool :)

    Kim:)

  39. MG says

    Having kids now is kind of surreal. I remember seeing commercials for lawn darts as well as the other toys up there. Of course back then, we’d have dirt clod fights and rocks covered in dirt counted. I still can’t believe I made it out with both eyes!

    Now it seems I have to keep my kids locked up for fear of being kidnapped or be everywhere they go. I’d definitely say we had it better way back then :)

  40. Jim Karter says

    #2 The Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab

    I am surprised that such things was sold as a toy at some time.:D

  41. Lauren Glenn says

    I used to remember a Lego boat my brother and I put together. It actually floated in the water. Cool stuff when you were a kid.

    You can’t even buy toys that are made of metal. Our original Transformer toys were mostly metal until around the time the movie came out (great movie, BTW…. unlike the new one).

    Lauren

  42. Lauren Glenn says

    They’d call the EPA and threaten to send your kids to jail for a couple of weeks. Of course, the child that used the arrow to nearly kill someone will be considered able to be helped and saved, and will therefore receive counseling to cheer the child up from his bad childhood.

  43. Skronk says

    A lot of toys have become unavailable since the seventies. For instance it is nearly impossible to buy toy boats that actually float.
    I used to make my own bows and arrows with arrowheads chipped from slate and fletched with pigeon feathers. If a kid did this today they would probably try to ban pigeons.

  44. Lauren Glenn says

    Did I grow up in the only family in America that realized that lawn darts are relatively safe if you don’t throw them in the direction of other people? If two people are standing on the same side of a lawn and you put a hula-hoop in the middle of the yard as a target, how can you injure yourself?

    It must be natural selection.

  45. D.F. says

    I actually have the Bat Masterson Derringer Gun Belt. That orange cap isnt original the gun wouldnt fold closed with that or at least the version I have wouldnt. Wonder what its worth these days?

  46. Jessica says

    I remember Creepy Crawlers so well. They had that smell unlike any other mysterious substance (granted that substance did set into a solid state after a good blast in the micro furnace which was the CC oven) I can recall from childhood. While my brother had a bug set (and my mom still had some of her “bug plates” from the ’60s), as a child of the 80s/early 90s (when anything that could come in a doll version more than likely did) I had the make your own peachy flesh toned CC doll set.

    Thanks for this run trip down memory lane :-)

  49. Dave says

    Every family picnic I went to growing up had lawn darts and horse shoes. I don’t remember a single person being hurt by them.

  50. jan says

    they still sell lawn darts don’t they? we played with them at guides ages ago [well by ages i mean a year or two ago]

  51. Simon Q. Zeno says

    Blummis, you’re a retard. That has nothing to do with dangerous toys. I hate Bush too, but you’re just being moronic. GTFO my internets, please.

    Anyways, #2 makes me laugh hard. I can’t believe they’d actually sell that…

    And my mom still has a deep scar on her head from a lawn dart.

  52. Barnegat Blummis says

    Nov shmoz ka pop. George W. “Traitor” Bush first promised to punish the person who leaked the name of a CIA agent and on the eve of the 4th of July pardoned the bastard.

    Bush proves that he is only president of the rabid conservatives and not of the rest of us. He’s the most dangerous toy we’ve ever bought. NEW-QUE-LAHR!