10 Most Dangerous Toys of All Time!

by John P.

This list is hilarious! According to Radar Magazine these are the worst and most dangerous toys of all time, as defined by their ability to kill, maim and generally be hazardous to the well being of the children to which they were given.

Each toy is linked to the complete page on the Radar website that has a more complete description of the mayhem wreaked by the particular weapon toy.

Here goes then:

Power Wheels Motorcycle10.) Fisher-Price Power Wheels Motorcycle

Eager youngsters who gunned the throttle found that it often stayed gunned, stuck in a petrifying state of perma-acceleration. Presumably, the child on the motorcycle was then taken on a hellish, intestine-twisting scream ride.

Battlestar Launcher9.) Battlestar Galactica Missile Launcher

It takes just a few jabbed eyes, some torn intestines and the death of a child to bring down a party, and that’s just what happened in January 1979, when the battle cruiser missiles were finally recalled.

Johnny Reb Cannon8.) Johnny Reb Cannon

The Reb fired hard, plastic cannonballs with a spring mechanism—the aspiring secessionist need only pull a lanyard. No word on exactly how fast the cannonballs flew, but they traveled up to 35 feet and seemed perfectly sized to lodge into an eye socket, down an open mouth…

Creepy Crawlers7.) Creepy Crawlers

Nothing says safety like an open hot plate. And nothing says fun like using that open hot plate to create molten, rubbery insects you can throw at your sister while narrowly avoiding setting the house ablaze.

At least those who dodged serious injury or disfigurement could safely eat their creation. Oh wait, the critters were toxic, too.

Derringer Belt Gun6.) Bat Masterson Derringer Belt Gun

According to SafeKids USA, “Caps can be ignited by friction and cause serious burns.” Every young boy needs to learn the valuable lesson of always protecting his nether regions, with force if necessary, but given the positioning of the Derringer, the owner’s greatest enemy might have actually been puberty.

Sky Dancer5.) Sky Dancers

Injuries included scratched corneas and temporary blindness, mild concussions, broken ribs and teeth, and facial lacerations that required stitches. Nearly nine million Sky Dancers were eventually recalled, leaving aspiring ballerinas to earn their battle scars the old fashioned way, with an eating disorder.

Snack Time Cabbage Patch4.) Snacktime Cabbage Patch Dolls

With no mechanism to turn off the munching should trouble arise, it was only a matter of time before some cherub’s long blonde hair got caught in the doll’s rabid jaws. After 35 fingers and ponytails fell victim, the Snacktime Kids were removed from retail shelves forever, and 500,000 customers were offered a full $40 refund.

Mini 3.) Mini-Hammocks from EZ Sales

Unfortunately, children seeking to spend an afternoon like Gilligan became entangled in the net and strangled to death.

CPSC reported in August 1996 that the product had resulted in the fatal and near-fatal asphyxiation of dozens of kids ages five to 17 and recalled three million of them.

Radioactive Energy Lab2.) Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab

For a mere $49.50, the kit came complete with three “very low-level” radioactive sources, a Geiger-Mueller radiation counter, a Wilson Cloud Chamber (to see paths of alpha particles), a Spinthariscope (to see “live” radioactive disintegration), four samples of Uranium-bearing ores, and an Electroscope to measure radioactivity.

Lawn Darts1.) Lawn Darts!

During their brief (and generally awesome) reign in 1980s suburbia, Jarts racked up 6,700 injuries and four deaths.


{ 49 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Barnegat Blummis July 4, 2007 at 10:44 am

Nov shmoz ka pop. George W. “Traitor” Bush first promised to punish the person who leaked the name of a CIA agent and on the eve of the 4th of July pardoned the bastard.

Bush proves that he is only president of the rabid conservatives and not of the rest of us. He’s the most dangerous toy we’ve ever bought. NEW-QUE-LAHR!

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2 Simon Q. Zeno July 4, 2007 at 11:18 pm

Blummis, you’re a retard. That has nothing to do with dangerous toys. I hate Bush too, but you’re just being moronic. GTFO my internets, please.

Anyways, #2 makes me laugh hard. I can’t believe they’d actually sell that…

And my mom still has a deep scar on her head from a lawn dart.

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3 jan July 5, 2007 at 12:42 pm

they still sell lawn darts don’t they? we played with them at guides ages ago [well by ages i mean a year or two ago]

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4 Dave July 13, 2007 at 9:07 pm

Every family picnic I went to growing up had lawn darts and horse shoes. I don’t remember a single person being hurt by them.

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5 Tom McMahon July 16, 2007 at 10:16 pm
6 John P. July 16, 2007 at 11:15 pm

Tom,

That is hilarious! Thanks for sharing. :-)

John

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7 Jessica July 20, 2007 at 9:40 am

I remember Creepy Crawlers so well. They had that smell unlike any other mysterious substance (granted that substance did set into a solid state after a good blast in the micro furnace which was the CC oven) I can recall from childhood. While my brother had a bug set (and my mom still had some of her “bug plates” from the ’60s), as a child of the 80s/early 90s (when anything that could come in a doll version more than likely did) I had the make your own peachy flesh toned CC doll set.

Thanks for this run trip down memory lane :-)

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8 D.F. July 20, 2007 at 9:58 am

I actually have the Bat Masterson Derringer Gun Belt. That orange cap isnt original the gun wouldnt fold closed with that or at least the version I have wouldnt. Wonder what its worth these days?

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9 Lauren Glenn August 2, 2007 at 10:27 pm

Did I grow up in the only family in America that realized that lawn darts are relatively safe if you don’t throw them in the direction of other people? If two people are standing on the same side of a lawn and you put a hula-hoop in the middle of the yard as a target, how can you injure yourself?

It must be natural selection.

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10 Skronk August 4, 2007 at 4:30 pm

A lot of toys have become unavailable since the seventies. For instance it is nearly impossible to buy toy boats that actually float.
I used to make my own bows and arrows with arrowheads chipped from slate and fletched with pigeon feathers. If a kid did this today they would probably try to ban pigeons.

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11 Lauren Glenn August 4, 2007 at 8:30 pm

They’d call the EPA and threaten to send your kids to jail for a couple of weeks. Of course, the child that used the arrow to nearly kill someone will be considered able to be helped and saved, and will therefore receive counseling to cheer the child up from his bad childhood.

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12 Lauren Glenn August 13, 2007 at 10:49 pm

I used to remember a Lego boat my brother and I put together. It actually floated in the water. Cool stuff when you were a kid.

You can’t even buy toys that are made of metal. Our original Transformer toys were mostly metal until around the time the movie came out (great movie, BTW…. unlike the new one).

Lauren

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13 Jim Karter August 13, 2007 at 11:08 pm

#2 The Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab

I am surprised that such things was sold as a toy at some time.:D

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14 MG August 26, 2007 at 12:38 pm

Having kids now is kind of surreal. I remember seeing commercials for lawn darts as well as the other toys up there. Of course back then, we’d have dirt clod fights and rocks covered in dirt counted. I still can’t believe I made it out with both eyes!

Now it seems I have to keep my kids locked up for fear of being kidnapped or be everywhere they go. I’d definitely say we had it better way back then :)

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15 TheDane August 26, 2007 at 10:17 pm

Yes that is absolutely insane. I think the nuclear bomb creation set should be moved up to the first place.

I would have killed for the Fisher Price Motercycle whan I was a kid though, that one is cool :)

Kim:)

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16 Blogging Mix August 27, 2007 at 8:56 am

Funny post. Glad never had those kinds of toys.

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17 Rachel August 27, 2007 at 4:51 pm

i had a skydancer! I had several in fact…i loved then loads. I attempted to find them recently but i dont have them anymore. suspisions are that my parents got rid of them?

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18 Lauren Glenn August 27, 2007 at 10:04 pm

I remember playing in playgrounds where the ground beneath you was asphalt….. kids hanging upside down on the “monkey-bars” with their lower legs and feet being the only things to keep you from head injury (and parent’s not worring about it).

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19 radzone September 18, 2007 at 1:40 pm

Damn! No wonder I think the way I do – a little demented at times. It all started with the Johnny Reb Cannon, then creepy crawlers (nasty taste, but fun), then the belt gun – what a blast, then the all time scariest was the lawn darts. It was all right until we started playing mumbly-peg – that would hurt. Thanks for the post. It brought back a many fine memories.

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20 Alpesh September 18, 2007 at 3:48 pm

unbelievable!, this kind of toys end ups in market. I have been Fisher-Price fan, buying all kind of Fisher-Price toys for my son and gifting them to other kids on birthdays. Can’t believe even such company produced a hazardous toy as such.

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21 Brandon December 22, 2007 at 11:44 pm

nice post John, I don’t see how I missed this one
It’s crazy what we give our kids sometimes..

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22 Brandon December 22, 2007 at 11:45 pm

btw.. We use to play with lawn darts all the time when I was a kid :D

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23 Dynamike February 10, 2008 at 5:38 pm

Holy crap! A U-238 Atomic Energy Lab.

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24 Saim Baig February 14, 2008 at 8:51 am

Never heard of these.But i understand what makes these things so dangerous.

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25 Edward February 14, 2008 at 12:34 pm

LOL
offtop: Happy St Valentine’s

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