Wife beating anytime and for any reason is never allowed in Islam. There is however a questionable condition where Allah Almighty seems to allow the husband to beat his wife, and that is after he gives her two warnings to stop showing ill-conduct and disloyalty.

Before we start, I’d like to first say that because Arabic is a complex language, and because Allah Almighty purposely and carefully chose certain words to be placed in certain Noble Verses, I strongly believe that Allah Almighty allowed for the interpretation of NOT beating wives to be valid. In other words, a Muslim man would not be going against Allah Almighty’s Divine Will if he doesn’t beat his wife, and instead, deserts her by leaving the house and living for instance with his parents for a period of time until the disobedient wife comes back to her senses, which would be as equivalent as the first interpretation, since the end result is the same, which is to discipline the bad wife and to get her back on the Right Path of what makes GOD Almighty satisfied with her.

Let us look at Noble Verses 4:34-36 “(34). Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband’s) absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (Next), refuse to share their beds, (And last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them Means (of annoyance): For Allah is Most High, great (above you all).

(35). If ye fear a breach between them twain, appoint (two) arbiters, one from his family, and the other from hers; if they wish for peace, Allah will cause their reconciliation: For Allah hath full knowledge, and is acquainted with all things.

(36). Serve Allah, and join not any partners with Him; and do good- to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, those in need, neighbours who are near, neighbours who are strangers, the companion by your side, the wayfarer (ye meet), and what your right hands possess: For Allah loveth not the arrogant, the vainglorious;”

The Arabic word used in Noble Verse 4:34 above is “idribuhunna”, which is derived from “daraba” which means “beat”. The thing with all of the Arabic words that are derived from the word “daraba” is that they don’t necessarily mean “hit”. The word “idribuhunna” for instance, could very well mean to “leave” them. It is exactly like telling someone to “beat it” or “drop it” in English.

Allah Almighty used the word “daraba” in Noble Verse 14:24 “Seest thou not how Allah sets (daraba) forth a parable? — A goodly Word Like a goodly tree, Whose root is firmly fixed, And its branches (reach) To the heavens”. “daraba” here meant “give an example”. If I say in Arabic “daraba laka mathal”, it means “give you an example”.

Allah Almighty also used the word “darabtum”, which is derived from the word “daraba” in Noble Verse 4:94, which mean to “go abroad” in the sake of Allah Almighty:

“O ye who believe! When ye go abroad (darabtum) In the cause of Allah, Investigate carefully, And say not to anyone Who offers you a salutation: ‘Thou art none of a Believer!’ Coveting the perishable good Of this life: with Allah Are profits and spoils abundant. Even thus were ye yourselves Before, till Allah conferred On you His favours: therefore Carefully investigate. For Allah is well aware Of all that ye do. (The Noble Quran, 4:94)”

So “daraba” literally means “beat”, or “go abroad”, or “give” but not in the sense to give something by hand, but rather to give or provide an example.

Important Note: Notice how Allah Almighty in Noble Chapter (Surah) 4 He used “daraba (4:34″ and “darabtum (4:94)”, which are both derived from the same root. He used both words in the same Chapter, which tells me that “daraba” in Noble Verse 4:34 means to desert or leave, since that’s what its derived word meant in Noble Verse 4:94. The next section below will further prove my point.

I am sure there are more Noble Verses that used words derived from “daraba” in the Noble Quran, but these are the only ones I know of so far. In the case of Noble Verse 4:34 where Allah Almighty seems to allow men to hit their wives after the two warnings for ill-conduct and disloyalty, it could very well be that Allah Almighty meant to command the Muslims to “leave” the home all together and desert their wives for a long time in a hope that the wives would then come back to their senses and repent.

Bushra,

First of all, thank you very much for that insightful and revealing interpretation. I can tell that you are well versed and I very much appreciate the clarification you’ve provided.

As I understand it from your interpretation the preferred method of discipline for a woman may not be, at least initially, to physically punish her; but instead to seek more peaceful alternatives to persuade her to act appropriately.

For me however, this fact doesn’t really change the initial curiosity I expressed when posting the article for the following reasons:

• In the US, and I’m guessing most European nations, the law simply doesn’t allow a man to beat anyone - except in self defence.
• Even if the practice of wife beating is not routinely encouraged, the fact that it is allowed in the Islamic faith would be in direct conflict with laws of the land.
• Most Americans would consider a man beating any woman to be one of the most dishonorable acts humanly possible. It’s right up there with murder and child molestation. If, for example, I were to witness a man striking a woman - any woman - I would hospitalize him.

I should have been more specific about the underlying concepts I find captivating here:

• Muslims believe that by divination men are inherently superior to women, and that attitude is reflected in every aspect of society. Examples: women must be completely covered at all times (as if they were shameful sexual objects), women have fewer legal rights in society than men, women must be separated from men in places of worship, women who are raped by evil men are treated like damaged goods and ostracised rather than receiving sympathy and help.
• Christians are not immune from scrutiny here either. The bible also sets men above women, but I’m not aware of any passages that condone or even allow beating any woman.
• Non-believers in general (athiests, or agnostics) tend to view men and women as equally responsible for themselves, and therefor peers. In this case neither possess any special status, rights or power over the other.

In my opinion none of these opinions offer room for debate. There are only two possible future outcomes:

1. Each group allows the other to believe whatever they like and chooses to co-exist in harmony.
2. One group attempts to eliminate others that don’t share their view leading to conflict, bloodshed and pain. This is an outcome that believers may still be happy with if they feel they are remaining true to their faith; however, non-believers will be very, very unhappy. And the most unhappy people tend to stick to their guns much longer in any conflict

Take care,

John

(in the name of allah)allah is and grate and fair but mens are not fair to women women gets slaped smaked around alot it not fair and men who beat there wifes are dogs discusting to and some men are sick in the heads no afence men mens get sensative if a women is smarter then him he hit her for that men get afrade if women get richer than him but i say ther some men are kind an good to women

Kathy,

I am of the personal belief that women are, in every way that matters, equal to men. I would not follow any religious system that sets man above woman and frankly I am surprised that women are willing to subject themselves to second class status because of any ancient text written by someone who literally didn’t even know the Earth was round or what oxygen is.

Despite what any text suggests I do not believe that a man has a right to lay a hand on a woman (or another man) in any harmful manner. The lone exception comes in the form of law enforcement, and that is merely in a reactive capacity.

If you are in a relationship where your signifigant other brings you any physical bodily harm - or even just terrorizes you, please leave. If you have to flee your own country, take your children and do it. If you are in the US please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE.

I know it is extremely difficult to escape an abusive relationship. The only advice that I can provide is that if you are totally committed to improving your life - and you must be 100% committed - there are people who will help you to actually be happy beyond what you can currently imagine.

John

John: God bless you! I do appreciate your last reply when you tried to give phone numbers to help women.

Yes, if you were a women and you were living with a person who is beating you, YOU MUST do what John said.

I lived in Islamic society almost 22 years (even though I am Christian, I do find it common that a husband beats his wife in my society especially in villages. In my country, the Ministry of statistics have done many surveys, one of the surveys declared that 67% of my country women find it totally OKAY if the husband beats his wife. Just one moment, my country is one of the most civilized islamic countries. In my country, women get killed every day since they may talk or just gave a little attention to a guy, they get killed!!! We call it honor crimes.

Please see this movie, he is another moron talking about Women!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LrH6Fu15tkA

Those people MUST change, their mentality MUST change…. Freedom for women, freedom for web surfers,

You can see another video (not so related):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4JQk6qRBM0

God bless you!

Wow! Those are two of the most powerful videos I’ve ever seen. Thanks for sharing them! And thank you for your kind words.

John

You are welcome John. What you see in these videos is nothing compared to what happen in reality.. Like Taliban used to use GYMs to execute women who is not behaving well!?!?

Something if does not make you cry, will make you laugh!

Thank

Hello,

Your comments were helpful; I am living in a violent relationship with a muslum man. Now there is a baby involved. He has lied to me, degraded me, hit me. I am scared for my child. I left him last September to protect her. He has never been around her and she is 18 months old now. He has threatened to kill me. I have notified the police and got a restraining order for my daughter and I. He retailiated and said I didnt obey him and that I am his forever. She and I were going to disappear; I had everything packed and I was served papers trying to get visitation of my daughter. He told me that way I will have to see him on a schedule and cant ignore him. So I cant leave now. He has people watch me and threaten me. It is so hard to get help because everyone wants to do everything legally. I am afraid something will happen to me and then he will get her. I live in fear everyday of my life. There is so much to say about what I have went through for six years. He had me scared to death to ever leave him, I lost my job, had no friends… He accused me everyday that I was unworthy, trash, … then he would say I love you. I just wish someone would help before it is to late. It is so hard to escape him. I feel I will never have a normal life for my daughter and I.

I am so sorry to hear that Dawn. Thats so sad story and I wish we can help you.

Where are you living? Are living in the USA, if yes, you should be fine, you can go to court and get your rights. If you are living outside the USA, say the country name and I will try to help. My cousin is responsible for women rights in an Arabic country. I live in LA, CA.

Where is your husband from?

Or we can give you advice from me or from the man and other blog readers.

God Bless you!

Dawn,

I too am sorry to hear about the horrible experience you are going through. We have a close friend who went through an experience similar to yours and it was hell trying to extricate her from the situation. The good news is that she is now free of the lunatic and happily going on with her life.

I have seen first hand how hard it is to get the Police and courts to take action. You almost need an attorney and that costs real money - something not many women in your situation can afford.

If you could share a few of the details that Adi (ROR Guy) just asked we’ll see what we can do to find you some assistance. You can also use my contact form above if you would rather reach me privately.

John

I do wish the videos from this site would work for me…but either way, i always find it interesting to see how many of our morals are broken when someone with holds their own beleifs and they beleive it to be all fine and dandy. No two people will ever think 100% alike, different religions and this and that will always clash. And yes Dawn’s story is sad. But this is the common America and things close to those occurances are not out of the ordinary…and yes its a terrible realization, but it is the truth. People are too wrapped in themselves to do anything about anyone but themselves now a days, maybe thats the way it should be, maybe it isnt. I find if i take care of myself, i am the only person in the world i can rely on completely. People change and wars start and end, people die and tragedies arise. Things do happen must i say, some to the better of us. But with that i must be off. Goodbye and best wishes Dawn.

Jessica