I find it peculiar that you take issue with the specific language surrounding how exactly men can beat their women, but don’t take any exception to this part:

Men have authority over women because God has made the one superior to the other…

The issue here is whether or not men truly have any sort of authority over women. They do not. I don’t care what your book tells you. I am a man. I am no better than you are. God did not make me any better than you. If anything, I am certain the opposite is true! YOU are better than ME.

Let’s be sure to also point out that I doubt you read the original manuscript of the Koran, in the original ancient language. So you, like me, are relying on someone’s translation and transliteration into another language. Therefore we cannot rely solely on the specific words, but must instead interpret the spirit of the ancient wording.

Furthermore, your logic is simply faulty. The rationale for your argument is that, “…sometimes we need a slap on the hand to realise we are being silly….” Really? I am able to tell people when they are being silly without touching them almost every day! Just as I am doing for you now! The only reason I would need to slap you would be if I was not able to convince you to change your mind with rational argument. Then the threat of physical injury will FORCE you to.

You see, we are dealing with the concept of persuasion, vs. force. No human has the right to force another human to think the way they do. Furthermore, you must think more broadly and consider the fact that individuals are not always able to convince one another to see things their way. For example, what if you are actually smarter and more educated than your husband? What if he is arguing something with you that goes against, say, the laws of physics, but you simply can not convince him because he is ignorant. He has the right to hit you to force his uneducated opinion on you? Yes, your arrogance that you think you know more than him gives him the right (by your translation) to strike you.

And by your own argument, do you suppose that Men are never silly? I can guarantee you that I am sometimes wrong, or silly. Does that mean that my wife, or my best friend, should physically intimidate or injure me to let me know? NO! And do you think your man is more perfect than me? Because as far as I know, all mortal men are equally fallible.

So, I suggest that you should really think about the point I am making here.

• As a man I have NO incentive to give up my power over women. I am actually incented to maintain that power structure! So why in the world would I do this? It doesn’t make sense for me to lie about this.
• You are being exposed to another way of thinking here. There are billions of people on Earth, and they all live differently. You have been surrounded by people who want you to think the way that they do, but there are billions who do not. Consider that the world works for those people who think differently as well.
• If you are scared of the world, and find it more convenient to allow the men around you to take responsibility for you, then so be it. But don’t try and justify your laziness or lack of willingness to control your own destiny with some sort of divine philosophy. It’s easier to let someone control you! Just admit it and move on.

In summary, there is no place for physical punishment in any marriage, or any relationship. We can only have peace and happiness if we have a society ruled by law and rational argument. If you find yourself with people whom you cannot ever agree with, then you should have the right to seek out those with whom you do agree so that you can live in peace. Physical confrontation should be defensive, and always reserved for tyrants and those who wish to impose their will upon others.

John P. (Who would NEVER hit you.)

you also lef out the comment at bottom of Quran’s page to this verse:
AS A LAST RESORT. I IS UNLAWFUL TO TO STRIKE THE FACE OR CAUSE BODILY INJURY.

i feel this topic has been blown totally out of proportion to be honest, sometimes we need a slap on the hand to realise we are being silly, we all know us women can get abit out of hand with gossip, drama etc…

I can explain why Muslim men have happily taken “daraba” to mean “beat”. It’s all about power. Whenever one group sees the opportunity to oppress another to its benefit, then the ugly side of human nature shows itself. There is absolutely nothing in the Quran about women covering themselves head to toe. What is said is for women AND men to dress modestly.

it’s funny to see how religion is interpreted one way, and as soon as people see such interpretation as bad, it is reinterpreted. you think women and men act differently? that is only true to a certain extent and there are many other factors other than genetics. i suggest you try and look up your information from some place other than the internet.

Islam gives women the upper hand above men in plenty of matters, like expecting financial support from their father, brother or husband.

The fact that you think that a religion which makes women wholly dependent on men is OK merely because it is gracious enough to allow them to be dependent tells me that you and I are never going to agree.

The women I know would be highly insulted by your comments, and indeed I know several women whom I guarantee earn more money than you ever will in your lifetime. So you would be doing them a disservice if all they got was a measly little allowance from you.

John

I am of the personal belief that women are, in every way that matters, equal to men.

Interesting. Do a search on Google for ‘make female genetic differences’, and read some of the links. The very foundation of our behaviour – our genes – are so radically different. The way the two behave, what they go through in life, the way they experience life. Any attempt to show equality between genders is rendered totally irrelevant in the light of science. Oh, but you said, “in every way that matters”. I suppose science doesn’t matter.

I’m not saying women should be treated as second class, I’m saying that men and women should be considered totally differently and different rules and judgements drawn up about them. Islam gives women the upper hand above men in plenty of matters, like expecting financial support from their father, brother or husband.

I would not follow any religious system that sets man above woman and frankly I am surprised that women are willing to subject themselves to second class status because of any ancient text written by someone who literally didn’t even know the Earth was round or what oxygen is.

The Big Bang was an event where all the energy and matter in this Universe was compressed into a single point in the form of energy. A huge explosion occured, causing the energy to be flung outward, some of it being converted into matter. This is how our universe was formed.

The Quran says, “Do not those who not believe not see that the heavens and the earth were joined together (as one unit of creation), before we clove them asunder? We made from water every living thing. Will they not then believe?” (21:30, Translation by A. Y. Ali)

Due to the Big Bang, the Universe is therefore expanding.

“And it is We Who have constructed the heaven with might, and verily, it is We Who are steadily expanding it.” (Quran, 51:47, Translation by A. Y. Ali)

There are many many verses that allude to scientific facts not discovered by humans until hundreds of years after the Quran’s revelation. Your theory that it was the work of a human being is therefore shattered. It is the only holy book that can prove itself scientifically to be from God, or Allah.

anyway, i find women in islam are really cherished, and the way we dress is what make me belive that, cuz the woman body is very tempting to men, so protecting the women, islam ordered us to cover our body..
im not very religious my self, i dont wear all black and stuff, but i cant see u talkin about islam like this when u dont kno what are u talkin about

1- It is common in Europe to live without marriage with Women and having children….Is it fair with women??? Once Men’s lust is full then they choose another women ….Niether Society and Govt have any help for them.

2-In west & America , Rape of women is very common . According to statistics in every one second one women rapped in USA….Is it fair with womens?? It is all done by Mens !! open minded men!!!

3-In every Night ,Millions of Womens provide sexual entertainment in Bars and Night clubs …It is just for Men”s Lust and entertainment……Just for the sake to earn some dollars to live your life…..Is it humanity???

YOU MISINTERPRETING ISLAMIC VALUES AND TEACHING …if anybody want to see real pictures pls visit :www.irf.net

Thanks .

Jessica

John

http://www.answering-christianity.com/beating_no.htm

I too am sorry to hear about the horrible experience you are going through. We have a close friend who went through an experience similar to yours and it was hell trying to extricate her from the situation. The good news is that she is now free of the lunatic and happily going on with her life.

I have seen first hand how hard it is to get the Police and courts to take action. You almost need an attorney and that costs real money – something not many women in your situation can afford.

If you could share a few of the details that Adi (ROR Guy) just asked we’ll see what we can do to find you some assistance. You can also use my contact form above if you would rather reach me privately.

John

Where are you living? Are living in the USA, if yes, you should be fine, you can go to court and get your rights. If you are living outside the USA, say the country name and I will try to help. My cousin is responsible for women rights in an Arabic country. I live in LA, CA.

Where is your husband from?

Or we can give you advice from me or from the man and other blog readers.

God Bless you!

Your comments were helpful; I am living in a violent relationship with a muslum man. Now there is a baby involved. He has lied to me, degraded me, hit me. I am scared for my child. I left him last September to protect her. He has never been around her and she is 18 months old now. He has threatened to kill me. I have notified the police and got a restraining order for my daughter and I. He retailiated and said I didnt obey him and that I am his forever. She and I were going to disappear; I had everything packed and I was served papers trying to get visitation of my daughter. He told me that way I will have to see him on a schedule and cant ignore him. So I cant leave now. He has people watch me and threaten me. It is so hard to get help because everyone wants to do everything legally. I am afraid something will happen to me and then he will get her. I live in fear everyday of my life. There is so much to say about what I have went through for six years. He had me scared to death to ever leave him, I lost my job, had no friends… He accused me everyday that I was unworthy, trash, … then he would say I love you. I just wish someone would help before it is to late. It is so hard to escape him. I feel I will never have a normal life for my daughter and I.

Something if does not make you cry, will make you laugh!

Thank

John