The Worst Microsoft Advertisement EVER (Hint: Windows 386)

windows-386-promo-videoLook, any time you’ve got a character in an advertisement named T-Bone it’s an indicator of things to come. But after the first 7 minutes of brutally bad acting and terrible story line the good news is that you are treated to a horrible rap song about Windows 386!

Seriously. If you can sit through this entire 12 minute promotional video without your head exploding I’ll be very impressed. It’s just sooo bad. I only finished it myself as an experiment to make sure I wouldn’t kill any of you by actually exposing you to this crap.

Here is the description from whoever posted this video:

Microsoft sent this tape to retailers to explain the benefits of Windows 386. Boring until the 7 minute mark when the production is taken over by crack-smoking monkeys.

By the way, someone please tell me what exactly she is doing with the guy who came to “help” her at the 9:00 mark.

PS – Did anyone else notice that the receptionist’s accent changed from crazy southern belle to nasaly Manhattan in about 3 seconds flat?

Comments

  1. Dawn says:

    You’re right, that WAS pretty bad, but the nerdy side of me found the historical perspective very interesting. The funny thing is, I don’t remember ever even HEARING about Windows/386. I must have skipped a version or two along the way. ;)

  2. Balend N says:

    Wow, besides being the worst ad, it was one of the longest as well. Oh, I’ve never heard of windows 386 either.

  3. Bad, bad, bad, and some more bad! LOL! That was so funny! Oh, those big, sexy glasses of hers and that fab little bowtie outfit! (I used to love those things! Shhh!)

    I wonder how the board meeting went when they decided that this corporate white woman should do a rap! Haha!

  4. That has got to be some of the funniest stuff I have ever seen! I don’t remember a version of Windows older than 3.1, but interestingly enough, I do remember that song she busts out with at the 7:00 mark. Can’t remember where I’ve heard, but I’ve heard it before. What will Microsoft do for entertainment when Bill Gates has completely stepped down in next month or so?

  5. Your mission….if you choose to accept it…is to look bad in the biggest glasses and red spray-in-hair ever seen in an ad!

    Whatever she was doing at the 9.00 mark, the guys eyes suggested he was enjoying it!

  6. Urbanist says:

    Is it wrong that I find her sexy? :P

  7. Forumistan says:

    Shes not sexy, and the video is waste of time.

  8. darkheart says:

    it almost killed me…

  9. Tom Barr says:

    What happens at the 7 minute mark is one of the Go-Go-s (trying to be Pat Benatar) raps (actually hip hops) her way into a Thriller-like music video and comes off Madonna-like. Wasn’t that obvious.

    BTW, this isn’t an ad, it’s a hype video they’ve play at a MS developer’s conference. If you have memories of what life was like before cutting and pasting, this is actually pretty cool stuff.

  10. Kitz says:

    if i am correct, windows 386 was a special version of windows 2.

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