Dear lord, this is funny. The following letter is not made up. It actually happened to a friend of mine who shall remain anonymous (for his wife’s sake, since he’s quite proud of it). Last week after running errands his wife came home to find the following letter attached to the front door of the apartment:
August 13, 2008
Dear (He Who Shall Remain Nameless),
I’m writing you this letter with regards to a complaint we’ve had from one of your neighbors. This neighbor states they are frequently disturbed by noises coming from your apartment. These noises are not music, slamming doors, stomping, or others of that nature. The Resident claims it is constant banging on the wall and other noises that seem to be associated with intimate activities.
The Resident feels awkward about the situation and therefore has not wanted to knock on your door and discuss it with you. They said this has gone on for quite a while, and they have made comments to management before, but now they feel too uncomfortable and have asked us to address this with you.
Thank you in advance for your cooperation.
By buddy was especially proud of this part, “they are frequently disturbed”. Unfortunatly, he tells me that they definitely got the wrong apartment! Damn.