This brilliant clip is from Johnny Dangerously starring Michael Keaton. Johnny shows his brother a film on testicle safety designed to scare him away from dropping out of law school so he can marry his girlfriend just so he can have sex with her.
This is one of those movies that was highly underrated and from which you get a whole slew of classic quotes!
Danny Vermin: You shouldn’t grab me, Johnny. My mother grabbed me once… ONCE!
Roman Moroni: Why you miserable cork-soaker!
Johnny Dangerously: You got those. I like those on a woman.
D.A. Burr: Don’t worry. It’ll still be here when you get back!
Roman Moroni: You fargin sneaky bastage. I’m gonna take your dwork. I’m gonna nail it to the wall. I’m gonna crush your boils in a meat grinder. I’m gonna cut off your arms. I’m gonna shove ‘em up your icehole. Dirty son-a-ma-batches. My own club!
Roman Moroni: This is fargin war!
Jocko Dundee: Take it easy? I’m standing here with my dork in my hand!
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
LOL, this was mindblowingly hilarious. Thanks for sharing.
Bah…the video has already been pulled.
I need to read John’s blogs quicker! That was a great movie!
hahahah
This is the curse of my blog! Several of us believe that YouTube is monitoring my posts because things that have been up for years or months disappear within days after I embed them!
Khan!
John
Ok, I found another version of it on YouTube and swapped it in here. We’ll see how long it lasts!
John
I came across your blog while googling quotes from this movie for my 11-year-old daughter. Pretty ironic considering that you and I saw this movie together when we weren’t much older than she is.
Hmmm. A mystery!
Let’s see, I pretty well know where most of the folks are from back in the day… But a couple of people in particular come to mind. Either David (last name omitted for privacy reasons), or Michelle (ditto)?
Now, you’ve bested my Giant, which means you’re quite strong. And you’ve also bested my Spaniard, which means you’ve studied. But you’ve forgotten the golden rule – never go up against a Greek when death is on the line!
It’s Michelle. Isn’t it? :-)
John
PS – I can see that you tried to visit Mike’s Web site from my Woopra stats, so that helps narrow things down a bit. hehehe
The video seems to imply that I should take care of business myself, however, I have been allowing women to treat my testicles with love and care for many years so I disagree…well maybe not because if I piss one off to the point where she “comes between” my testicles and me (likely Loraina Bobbit style) then the video will hold true….ok now I’m in pain
What are the lines from Johnny Dangerously when the mob boss is trying to let the thug have what he deserves? It goes something like……Let him have it……..no….Give it to him…..no and more I can’t remember
i could not get the video to play???