For years we’ve all seen the Viagra ads. They are on TV, in newspapers and magazines, at sporting events, heck I think they even advertise on the inside of lollipop wrappers to get the kids hooked at an early age. Hmmm. Viagra lollipops anyone? They’ve done such a great job at associating their brand with sex that it makes you wonder how anyone actually has sex without Viagra?
In addition to providing injunctive assistance to men who might actually have some sort of a problem (which may be a good thing, but maybe not too), the boys behind Viagra are clearly, clearly, clearly targeting a much younger and healthier audience in the hopes of getting them to use Viagra for purely recreational purposes. There is ZERO doubt in my mind about this.
Now, I’ve long wondered what the heck is supposed to be so magical about “the little blue pill”? I mean, does it make you last longer? Does it make you bigger? Does it turn you into a raging sexual animal? And while we’re at it, does Red Bull actually give you wings? The problem is, everyone has these questions, but no one with experience is willing to talk about it. Unfortunately, this leaves us with only one side of the story, Pfizer’s commercial messaging!
Well, I decided I was going to get the answers! So I got some Viagra, and here’s what happened.
Before we get started, there is something we should get out of the way up front. Any Viagra review is, by necessity, going to involve a lot of hot, steamy sex. This is something my wife was none too happy about. In hindsight, I probably should have involved her more in that part… (I don’t care who you are, that was funny!)
How to Get Some Viagra
Listen. You don’t want to go messing around with online pharmacies and off-shore doctors. There is a lot of fake crap out there! And this is your health involved here. So just go see your regular doctor and say something like, “hey, I want some Viagra”. If you are healthy enough, and you have a conversation about your rationale for using it, I’m sure it will be no problem.
WARNINGS! DANGER WILL ROBINSON!!!
Lets talk about the label on this stuff. First of all, the active ingredient is called Sildenafil. By most medicine label standards, this one seems kind of tame. I mean, I don’t see anything about bleeding anuses or anything. However, possible side effects include:
Diarrhea, dizziness, flushing, headache, heartburn, mild temporary vision changes, blurred vision, sensitivity to light, stuffy nose, or upset stomach.
What the heck is flushing anyway? Other than what you do when you get hit with the diarrhea they warn about…
They also Caution:
This medicine may cause dizziness, drowsiness, lightheadedness, fainting or blurred vision.
Because when you are rock hard, what you need is to be drowsy.
What is interesting to note are the Storage recommendations:
Store this medicine at 77 degrees, away from heat moisture and light. Brief storage between 59 and 86 degrees F is permitted. Do not store in the bathroom.
Do not store in the bathroom? Um. Most medicine cabinets are in the bathroom, so what’s up with that?
Common uses: This medicine is a phosphodiesterase inhibitor used for treating erectile dysfunction . It may also be used for other conditions as determined by your doctor.
There are several warnings that come with the prescription. Basically, it warns you not to take Viagra with drugs such as nitrates, high blood pressure meds, narcotics, etc. Also, it you’ve been using any sort of drugs or device to get an erection, or if you have eye problems, ulcers, heart problems you need to stay away from Viagra.
But the best warning of all?
“CHILDREN; safety and effectiveness in children have not been confirmed.”
Good lord! Who would feed this stuff to children? More importantly, I’m dying to know what would happen if you did!
Anyway, they also tell you “How to use this medicine”:
Take this medicine by mouth with or without food. It may not work as quickly if you take it with a high-fat meal. It’s usually taken about 1 hour before sexual activity, but may be taken anywhere from 4 hours to a half hour before.
Ok. Now that I know how to use it. Let’s get on with it.
Here’s What Happened
I’m going to tell this part in sort of a narrative story like manner. I think it plays out a little better like this.
John P.: Hey baby. You’re never going to guess what I got.
The Wife: Did you buy another car?!?
John P.: No, no! I got you a surprise!
The Wife: A new purse?
John P.: Um no.
The Wife: Some new shoes?
John P.: Um. No. What part of “you’re never going to guess…” didn’t you get?
The Wife: Oh. Well, tell me.
John P.: Viagra!
The Wife: What?
John P.: Yep. Now we’re going to see what this baby can do with super-unleaded in the system!
The Wife: Oh brother…
Well, you can use your imagination on the rest of this highly romantic, sweep-her-off-her-feet banter. You’ll probably do better than I did. But eventually I did get her to agree to a test run of the new and medically-improved me.
So, about a half hour before our scheduled departure on the Love Train, I popped a 50mg dose of the blue wonder. I also drank some water. I hadn’t had anything substantial to eat, so it was more or less on an empty stomach. Then we waited.
Well, we weren’t really waiting. We were doing other stuff. Normal stuff. But I was standing by just waiting to “spring to life”, although I was also trying not to really think about it so as to not ruin the test results. And we kept waiting, and waiting. But guess what. The urgency never came. In fact, I could have probably gone to sleep and that would have been that!
But, being a man, eventually I did tire of waiting (big surprise), and it came time to get busy and see what this baby could do! So after setting the stage with a little romantic music (Beasty Boys, Run DMC and the always popular 50 Cent) we settled down for some sweet, sweet lovin’. It was fantastic (just imagine if I didn’t say that… I would be in big trouble!), but there was just one problem. Um. It wasn’t “different”. Well, actually, it was.
The problem is, as a result of taking the pill I experienced a few mild to medium side effects:
- It made me pretty tired. I mean, before any work was done!
- I got a little dizzy.
- I felt a little sick at my stomach.
- I got a headache.
- My eyes got pretty sensitive to light.
- I got a little pain in the center of my chest.
- Strangely, my nose got congested.
As you can see, a perfect set of situations for a romantic engagement… Oh, I should mention that prior to taking the pill I was in perfect condition. I had none of the symptoms above and am positive they were a direct consequence of taking the pill. All began within 20-60 minutes of consumption.
So basically what happened was that the pill gave me the same symptoms as a very weak version of the flu. I went from feeling 100% good to feeling 50% bad. Now, at this point, I’d like to break away from the details and get to a few generalizations.
5 Things I Learned From Taking Viagra
- Viagra doesn’t make you (or her) “horny”. You’re still responsible for that part my friend. But if you’re taking this for recreational purposes, that’s probably not a problem… Still, don’t be thinking that Viagra is an aphrodisiac. You’re going to need to eat those oysters and take the Spanish Fly if that’s what you want.
- Viagra will not make you bigger. That’s right. There will be no proud moment of “standing tall”, basking in your own manly magnificence. Unless, like me, you were already blessed with the “magnificent” gene. (Come now, you knew there was going to be a penis joke somewhere, didn’t you?) Besides, the guys from Enzyte already went to jail for promising to make you bigger, so don’t be thinking that anything other than surgery is going to do that!
- Sex is not going to last any longer because of Viagra. (With one exception that I’ll get to in a minute. Get it? A minute? Never mind.) If you have an early arrival problem, you’re going to need to get some cream to take care of that or something. (Think of Bea Arthur.) Because Viagra is not a desensitizer.
- You might be able to have a little more sex, but not much. Let’s face it, men have a refractory period for a reason. Sex usually requires a lot of work (it burns a lot of calories too), and most guys need to recuperate. Don’t expect that this pill will supercharge your cardiovascular system. If you’re a fat, out of breath slob… you’re still going to need an oxygen tank. So, even if you could do it again, will you really want to? Probably not. Especially not if it makes you as sick as it made me.
- This crap is expensive!!! Yeah, are you ready for this. $16 PER PILL! And it ain’t covered by most insurance. So, you need to consider what is your money best spent on. Cause $16 will buy liquor, flowers and chocolate. Or it will get you a single blue pill. Do the math. A bottle of 30 pills goes for nearly a whopping $500. So buy a Corvette with that monthly payment and you’ll probably get more action!
The Finish
Well, in the end, Viagra for me was a flop. I was expecting to come away with hard evidence that this pill would really pump up the action for even an average performer. (And the little lady was expecting an extraordinary experience!) Instead, I came to the realization that Viagra’s benefits are fairly flacid. The long wait was certainly nothing to be excited about, and I wouldn’t bend over backwards to try and get my hands on it or anything.
Seriously though, if you have genuine Erectile Disfunction I imagine that it could make life very tough. Intimacy is a key component of our humanity, and you should not suffer in silence. I honestly think that Viagra might assist with obtaining enough of an erection for intimacy, and that is priceless (regardless of side effects). Please see a doctor about your issue!
But for those of you who have been wondering for a long time what recreational use of the little blue pill will do for you, I offer the following.
There are times in life when it’s worth it to look for the quick fix. But a sexual encounter with your loved one is not one of them. We were biologically wired to enjoy what we’ve got, and no pill is going to magically make that better. (This one actually made it worse.) So rather than letting the marketing professionals dominate your brain patterns with thoughts of enhanced sex, how about if we get back to doing it the old school way?
Dinner, wine, chocolate and romance will end in a far more gratifying experience than a cold hard pill.
Now, if you think this information is actually valuable to the Web you’re going to have to overcome any personal inhibitions and Tweet, Digg and link to this article. Otherwise it’s going to be lost amongst the SPAM when people are searching for real Viagra information.
Oh, and if you’ve tried Viagra, please tell us about it! I’ve already blown my cover, but you can be as anonymous as you want in the comments, so this is your chance to chime in!
{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }
So are you going to rename this website OneMansLOG.com?
I prefer to remain anonymous not because of shame, being this such an important part of a couple’s dynamic, but because I want to be totally honest, and I don’t know if it’s ok with the lady (yes I said it, sometimes it’s better to go under the radar).
I too went and tried the blue pill out, as an experiment with my girlfriend. My experience was not too great either. Although I did see results within close to 30 minutes, I also experienced a mild headache and felt a bit dizzy. I would actually say I was at a 75%. In the interest of powering through I went a long and she did think it made a difference (don’t know how big a difference, and not sure I want to find out), and while I am happy about that bit, I am not to interested in trying it again unless I absolutely need it.
My experience was about the same as yours. It seemed to make the blood go to the wrong head!
LMAO!! Love that one, Spamboy!! :D
John, you had me laughing so much with this post! Definitely worth waiting for! ;) And then ya got all realistic and mature and crap – and that’s commendable, for sure.
Man, it really would totally suck to have to go through all the side effects if you needed viagra. “Ok, I’m nauseous now, hon. Let’s have sex. Quick, before it wears off.” Ugh.
Stuffy nose – quite normal, actually, during the big O. Those membranes just get swollen.
Ok, that one had me CRACKING UP!!!! :D
Oh and yeah – what the crap is that all about the recommendation for children!!! Holy crap!!
I threw up (a lot) at the thought. What the crap…….. To be fair–I am the brother-in-law, so you do the math. Go back to covering Technology or taking pictures—of other stuff!!! Dammit.
You’re a brave man, John.
Ah, John, you took it for fun. Some of us are stuck with taking the damned stuff. Loved your article and wrote one myself to keep you company.
I wholeheartedly agree with your thoughts. It’s being marketed irresponsibly, and yes, keep well away form it. Only use it when you truly need it.
That is a fantastic article Tim! Thanks very much for sharing!
John P.
I’m very glad to see that at least three other men have chimed in and all have experienced the nasty side effects. A couple people have mentioned to me privately that perhaps I was just an outlier with all of the effects. But I just couldn’t believe it.
It wasn’t that I experience a side effect or two. It was that I experienced the whole damn litany of them that convinced me that this stuff was no laughing matter. And for the record, I never experience any side effects from other drugs.
John P.
Well…. contrary to everyone that has posted here I’ve taken it because it because I need it. I didn’t suffer any of the side affects that has been reported here. I was surprised that when I took it I didn’t feel anything prior to having my erection. I didn’t feel hornier than I usually do but when we “got down to business” my erection was harder than it has been in many,many years. Also, out of the normal, was that after 45 minutes I looked at the clock besides the bed and could hardly believe that we had been going for over 45 minutes already. I think the one that got the better deal in this bargin was my girl friend because she was so satisfied that her biggest complaint was that you are advised not to use it more than twice a week.
I also noticed that one dose still carried over, partially, to the next day. I’ve only used it a few times because my girlfriend had to return to her country and hasn’t returned yet but I’m thinking that I could probably do pretty well with half a dose.
So there you have it. an entirely different experience from someone that hasn’t taken it recreationally but becaus eI need it. FYI – I am 61 years old.
I fail to see why you have taken a medication that you say you don’t don’t need, and then badmouthed it. Do you take cold medication when you don’t have a cold just so you can complain about the side-effects? That isn’t doing your part of managing your health. I do take it because I need it. It works well for me and I don’t have any of the symptoms you describe except I wake up with a headache which goes away within 5 minutes of waking up. That’s a great tradeoff for avoiding a massive feeling of failure and frustration when I couldn’t perform after romancing my wife. I didn’t expect it to make me horny than hell, bigger than a breadbox, or able to last until 3 am . . . because it isn’t marketed to do that, except in your imagination. You are right about the expense, it’s a little high especially when don’t need it, but if you do, have your doc write for the 100mg tab, buy it online at a legit American pharmacy and cut the pills in half or even thirds if that is enough of a kick.
For any of you guys who feel you might need it, your doc (especially cardio, GP’s and urologists, but not eyedocs like me) probably has tons of free samples but YOU need to bring it up. Don’t be embarrassed, they (probably take it themselves) and their nurses (who take it home for their husbands) deal with it all day, it’s just another problem to solve to them. If they have the samples, try all 3 of the big sellers and see what works best for you.
John, you’re good, stick to writing what you know. You don’t really know what it’s like to need it.
There you go, you spoke about the magic pill and everyone here has an opinion.
Thanks for chiming in Dr. G.
I certainly wasn’t out to take a shot at Pfizer initially, and I tried to write a balanced and well informed article here. I believe I was completely fair in my approach, and several others have echoed the sentiment that they experienced similar symptoms as well.
But the reason that I took the medicine was exactly because I don’t need it, and neither do the masses of men who Pfizer is clearly, clearly marketing it to. When you see Viagra commercials plastered all over Nascar, sporting events, fitness magazines, etc. you can’t tell me they aren’t targeting a specific market, namely the well-to-do recreational users.
As a former Chief Marketing Officer, I can guarantee you that the folks over there know exactly what they are doing. And by the way, I don’t mind! I mean the pills seem to be very safe, so I say market away!
BUT! And it’s a big But! People need to talk about the recreational use of the product to let others know that it’s not all the big rosy picture that Pfizer paints. I took the pill and felt much worse than usual, not better. And I did it more than once just to make sure it wasn’t an unrelated reaction. The problem is, and Pfizer knows it, that most men will not talk about this subject. In fact, it took me two months of discussion with my wife to get work up the courage to post it myself.
So, I’m really glad it works for some people, and I’m very, very pleased that it helps them achieve intimacy which they otherwise can’t. Being married for two decades myself, I know the value of intimacy in a relationship. And on top of all that, I want us to talk about what happens either when you need it, or when you don’t.
Cheers,
John P.
Fantastic news! Glad there were no adverse side effects for you, and sounds like you had a lot of fun! Well worth the $16 per pill!
John P.
Hmm. I never thought of the blue pill before but to be honest i dont trust it. “Why to use it if no need” i say, and come on is your health you are playing with. Personally i wouldn’t try it if maybe i didn’t really need it.
I took one just because I was curious, just like the med companies hope. It is useless. Yes, it seems to make the act of standing up a bit easier but that is all, I don’t have trouble standing anyway. Then for the next day I felt terrible. Slight headache, sensitive eyes, I just felt bad. This stuff is a rip off for most men.
Lots of women like a nice long hug anyway :)