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Specialization is for Insects.
Posted on Oct 07, 2009 - 1:51am by John P. in Thoughts
Apparently, you people can not read! So I’ll tell you once again… This blog is a piece of crap, and you are wasting your time with every word you read! Look. That’s like 10 seconds of your life that you’ll never get back according to Penelope Trunk! Just check out her article, “Blogs without topics are a waste of time“.
I want to send a special shout out to Dan Bates from Monogodo who shared this article with me on Twitter. But come on Dan! What a waste of time that was! Didn’t you know? You could have been reading something “topical” instead of my random mindless dribble.
I mean, whatever was I thinking when I started my blog simply to post… whatever I was thinking? Good thing that Penelope set me straight with her opening salvo first sentence:
Stop thinking that you are such an incredibly wide-ranging thinker with so many interests and insights that you cannot be pinned down to just one topic.
Oops! I better get rid of that tagline up there too! It might be offensive! I mean, perhaps it’s wrong for me to aspire to be more than one dimensional. Maybe I should stick to only one thing that I’m good at? Forever. (Please kill me.)
She goes on…
In the history of writing, everything has a focus. It’s a contract you have with the reader. You stay within the bounds of the reader’s expectations, and if you do that, you can write surprises that seem to stray from your topic, and the reader stays with you. Because surprises are fun. But if there’s no contract because there is no focus, then there are no surprises. Every great piece of writing works this way.
Yes! That… just… happened!
Here I was thinking all along that people enjoy OMB because they never know what’s coming tomorrow. But I see now that this has been holding me back! If I would just stick to the same topic every day, then you would all be surprised if I use a few different words tomorrow!
I challenge you to think of a popular blogger who lacks focus on their blog.
What the hell am I? Chopped liver? I guess I’m just a random blogging piece of crap who accidentally happens to have a higher PageRank and Alexa rank than the next guy. Or maybe I’m not actually what you would consider “popular”. Because I’m not Darren Rowse, or Donny Osmond or someone… I don’t know.
Please do not tell me that you are just going to write whatever you want and you don’t care who reads it, or if anyone reads it. You are lying to yourself. Of course you care. We each have a limited amount of time in our lives, and blogging takes some of that time. Your blog is not your journal. Believe me. I know. I‘ve been keeping a journal since I was five. I have seventy-five volumes of handwritten journals, and it is totally different than blogging because it’s not public. The nature of a blog is that you are choosing to write publicly, so it is, by definition, for other people to read.
Damn! I’m not allowed to say that I’ll write whatever I want and don’t care who reads it? Foiled again! Crikey! Penelope has thought of everything! Ok. I won’t say that then! How about this…
I don’t give a F*%K who reads my blog! If you love it… Yeah! If you think it’s crap… Boo! I figure some things will appeal to some people, and some will appeal to others. If you subscribe and see an interesting topic then maybe you’ll read it that day! If you don’t, you’ll ignore it that day. Kind of like what we do with those things that have all the thin, flat, pieces of dead trees in them… What are those called? Oh yeah. Magazines. Or newspapers. Funny how those have so many topics in them!
In fact, I’m going to set up a meeting with my friend Robert Decherd and tell him he needs to immediately have the Dallas Morning News stick to just one topic! Dammit, he’s missing the boat!
Ok. OMB is a worthless piece of crap. I am not a popular blogger. I need to quit acting like I don’t care what other people think and start writing for them, and not me. This is not my diary.
But you know what? I bet if Penelope spent an hour or so exploring my useless, wandering, non-topical, blog. She’d find plenty of entertaining crap. So, is that really a waste of time? 20,000 people a day don’t seem to think so.
Love, John P.
We all sometimes need “random mindless dribble.” The “random mindless dribble,” that gets drizzled over the top of Lemon Meringue Pie, is what makes it taste just perfect! ;-)
One of the (many) pleasures of OMB is the variety of the topics and the wit in which the content is delivered. The audacity that you should write for the readers benefit rather than for your own personal diary should be treated with the contempt it deserves.
Its difficult to keep posting without focus so we have to give it to you John :p
What sucks is that she just barely beats you in a Google Fight.
hahah! That is awesome! I have no idea what it is… but it is awesome nonetheless! :-)
John P.
So, if you fail as a writer, I guess we all fail as readers, as well. There is nary a contract to be found among us. What a lawless bunch we are. Dang.
That’s it Dave. From now on I’ll be instituting contracts for OMB. You will not be allowed access to the content without one! Thanks for the reminder…
John P.
Don’t hold back, John, tell us how you really feel.
Drat! Here I thought I was reading something fresh, quirky and entertaining. If I missed a post or two it wasn’t the end of the world but it was comic relief when I needed a quick power break from the mundane every day life. I’m glad she is setting the likes of you in the right direction… I don’t know how I ever let you provide me with random enjoyable content.
I’m off to go blog about
aardvark’s solving Rubik’s Cubesimportant repetitive information.The funny thing is, if you weren’t popular you would never have come to her attention to start with!
Actually, she wasn’t posting about him, as far as I know. I read her post and thought of John, so I tweeted it to him.
This is just a waste of friggin time – I’m gonna go read a book – that’s all on one damn topic!
I have no bloody idea why I come here all the time!!
What the f*ck am I thinking?!
Dude, I love ya. Keep on writing. ALWAYS ignore the trolls.
LOL! That “lady” has obviously never been to FARK.
Illegitimi non carborundum John.
Had to chime in here to your other readers, John, that my response was totally a joke! LOL I know you knew that, but, just in case some of your other readers didn’t catch that…
I have to admit the I have spent the last few days reading your blog because it has so many different topics. I love it because you never know what you are going to read and it is always written so well. So I will definitely be back to read some more.