The Story of Penis van Lesbian

A good looking man walked into an agent’s office in Hollywood and said ‘I want to be a movie star.’ Tall, handsome and with experience on Broadway, he had the right credentials.

The agent asked, ‘What’s your name?’

The guy said, ‘My name is Penis van Lesbian.’

The agent said, ‘Sir, I hate to tell you, but in order to get into Hollywood you are going to have to change your name.’

‘I will NOT change my name! The van Lesbian name is centuries old, I will not disrespect my grandfather by changing my name. Not ever!’

The agent said, ‘Sir, I have worked in Hollywood for years… you will NEVER go far in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian! I’m telling you, you will HAVE TO change your name or I will not be able to represent you.’

‘So be it! I guess we will not do business together’ the guy said and he left the agent’s office.

FIVE YEARS LATER….. The agent opens an envelope sent to his office. Inside the envelope is a letter and a check for $50,000. The agent is awe-struck, who would possibly send him $ 50,000? He reads the letter enclosed:

Dear Sir,

Five years ago, I came into your office wanting to become an actor in Hollywood and you told me I needed to change my name. Determined to make it with my God-given birth name, I refused. You told me I would never make it in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian.

After I left your office, I thought about what you said. I decided you were right. I had to change my name. I had too much pride to return to your office, so I signed with another agent. I would never have made it without changing my name, so the enclosed check is a token of my appreciation.

Thank you for your advice..

Sincerely,

Dick van Dyke

Article Written by
John P.

John P. is CEO of Livid Lobster and co-host of Geek Beat TV. You can also find him on Twitter, Facebook and Google+.

Comments

  1. Bella says:

    I cant believe some people actually thought that it was a true story, lol. Really made my day, thanks John.

  2. Of course it’s not true. It was Mary Tyler Moore who gave Dick this nickname on his show.

  3. jimbeau says:

    WOW

  4. fas says:

    Is that really true, because his grand parents name at wikipedia does not say so..

  5. Robert Geczi says:

    I KNEW it was Dick Van Dyke. lol

    While I was reading it, I stopped for a second to think about where this joke was going, and the answer popped into my head fairly quickly. Is that odd?

    Oh well. Good post. It’s nice to have humor throughout the day to ease the mind. Thanks.

  6. So we learn a good lesson with this story. If something is not good and someone tells us, we have to listen well and change if it needs. People by nature don’t accept changes and they prefer to stay as they are.

  7. That’s a good one, John! Cute!

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