2012 has started off with several new memes. One that is to making the most traction, particularly on Youtube, is a video series that starts with Sh*t_______ People Say. The _____ is filled with some type of or a certain group of people. Listed below are a few of the ones that I have found:
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New Meme in 2012. Sh*t People Say (VIDEO)
February 2, 2012 By 1 Comment
Joke: The Shark Challenge
September 27, 2010 By 15 Comments
A millionaire decides to throw a huge party for his 50th birthday. During the party he grabs a microphone and announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with two great white sharks in it. ‘I will give anything they desire of mine, to the man who swims across that pool.’
So the party continues with no events in the pool, until suddenly, there is a great splash and all the guests of the party run to the pool to see what has happened.
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Joke: The Talking Clock
September 26, 2010 By 5 Comments
A college student had some friends over to show off his new apartment, when one of them asked, “Hey, what’s the big gong and mallet for”?
“That’s the talking clock!”, he replied.
“How does it work?”, asked the friend?
Without a word the college student took the mallet and hammered the gong as hard as he could. A voice then immediately rang out, “Knock it off! It’s three in the morning!!!”
How to Get Out of a Speeding Ticket
July 9, 2010 By 8 Comments
Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.
Officer: Don’t have one?
Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Woman: I can’t do that.
Officer: Why not?
Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
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Joke: Kids Say the Darndest Things
June 29, 2010 By 5 Comments
A 6 year-old and his 4 year-old brother are in their bedroom. The 6-year-old turns to his younger brother and says, “I think it’s time we start cussing. When we go downstairs I’ll say ‘hell’, and you say ‘ass’.”
“OK!” The younger brother enthusiastically agrees!
When their mother walks into the kitchen and asks the older brother what he wants for breakfast he replies, “Hell, Mom, I guess I’ll have some Cheerios.”
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Prison Joke
May 18, 2010 By 1 Comment
A new convict arrives in prison, and he’s sitting in his cell with his new cell mate. Suddenly someone yells “243″ and the whole cellblock starts laughing. A little while later someone yells, “23″ and again everyone starts laughing. This happens every day between 2pm and 3pm.
The new guy has no idea what is going on, so he asks his cell mate, “what’s so funny”? The cell mate goes on to explain, “There is only one book in the prison, and it’s a joke book. We’ve all read it so many times that we’ve memorized the jokes. So now, we only have to hear the numbers.”
So, the new guy goes to the library and studies the book. After a couple of weeks he’s ready… Two o’clock rolls around and someone yells, “119″. The whole cellblock erupts in laughter. The new guy yells “198″. There is dead silence.
He asks his cell mate what happened? The cell mate replies, “Some people can tell a joke, and some people can’t.”
The Story of Penis van Lesbian
December 14, 2009 By 7 Comments
A good looking man walked into an agent’s office in Hollywood and said ‘I want to be a movie star.’ Tall, handsome and with experience on Broadway, he had the right credentials.
The agent asked, ‘What’s your name?’
The guy said, ‘My name is Penis van Lesbian.’
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Mozart’s Final Resting Place
July 18, 2009 By 7 Comments
When Mozart passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Mozart was buried.
Terrified, the drunk ran and got the town magistrate to come and listen to it.
When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, “Ah, yes, that’s Mozart’s Ninth Symphony, being played backwards.”
He listened a while longer, and said, “There’s the Eighth Symphony, and it’s backwards, too. Most puzzling.”
So the magistrate kept listening; “There’s the Seventh… the Sixth… the Fifth…”
Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, “My fellow citizens, there’s nothing to worry about. It’s just Mozart decomposing.
The Secret to a Long Life
June 11, 2009 By 10 Comments
A doctor on his morning walk, noticed an older lady sitting on her front step smoking a cigar, so he walked up to her and said, “I couldn’t help but notice how happy you look! What is your secret?”
“I smoke ten cigars a day,” she said. “Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big joint. Apart from that, I drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniels every week, and eat only junk food. On weekends, I pop pills, get laid, and don’t exercise at all.”
“That is absolutely amazing! How old are you?”
“Thirty-four,” she replied.
