Have you ever been to the zoo? I was at the Dallas Zoo the other day, staring at the primates. Don’t worry, they were staring right back. Anyway, this big male gorilla, who had been sitting quietly with a couple of females laying around nearby, suddenly just got up and freaked out.

Now, I should emphasize, nothing caused this. Seriously. He’s a gorilla. There is nothing to piss him off. But all of a sudden, he got in a bad mood and started taking it out on all the other gorillas nearby. They are all running in fear, the people staring at them are freaking out, and I’m just thinking… you big, dumb ape.

Well, I expect that creatures who lack the ability to use a spoon might be wild and unpredictable. But you know what drives me crazy? Humans who do the same damn thing!

Lately I’ve heard a rash of stories from friends and family about situations they’ve been in at work in which customers are just complete assholes for no apparent reason. In fact, I was even at McDonalds today when this snooty woman came in carrying her child that was acting up. The extremely courteous young lady behind the counter greeted her quickly and politely, and then this dirtbag of a woman just started acting like that aforementioned gorilla.

Back in my grandfather’s day society didn’t tolerate that kind of behavior. They’d have escorted a rude customer right out of the joint, and then that woman would have been the talk of the town. I actually got so offended on behalf of the girl behind the counter that I snapped at that lady, “Hey! If you’ve got a personal problem, keep it to yourself! No need to ruin these nice people’s day, so how about NOT being an a-hole?!? It’s no wonder your kid has a bad attitude. Take a look in the mirror.”

For a second after I said that, the entire place was so quiet you could have heard a McNugget drop. The kid shut up. The lady turned and looked at me, and her mouth dropped open. And you know how sometimes you just know when someone is about to say something? Yeah, I saw it coming, so I hopped in real quick with, “You don’t want to say anything to me. I guarantee I am meaner than you ever dreamed of being in your entire life.”

It was amazing. She turned around, completed her order – clarifying that it was “to go” – and quietly walked off to the side. About that time, my food came up. I politely thanked the nice young lady behind the counter, who thanked me right back, and took my food to a table to sit and eat in peace.

Now here is the problem with all of this. What goes around, comes around. All of these jackasses are simply adding to the decay of our polite society. I bet I’m the only guy who ever reproached that lady in her life. And she goes around ruining people’s day and leaving a trail of destruction in her wake. But someone has to come in line after her. And once she ruins the attitude of the person who was helping her, service diminishes for the next person.

You see how this works? It’s a chain reaction. You ruin someone’s day, and they pass it on. But guess what! It works the other way too! I wrote about this over two years ago, so in case you missed it go find out how I Discovered the Secret to Happiness at 7-11.

PS – Thanks to Squid for the gorilla image.

Related posts:

1. Right Brain vs. Left Brain Test
2. The Secret to a Long Life
3. Women Can Be CRAZY!

For a long time now I’ve been hearing people predicting the death of traditional media (you know: television, radio, books and newspapers). “Old Media is dead! Long live New Media!”

This is 50% crap, but it’s also 50% true. And since I’ve been fielding a lot of questions about this lately, let me see if I can break it down for outsiders in terms that are a little easier to understand and have some actual logic behind them.

The real magic of “new media” has nothing to do with the people. It is quite simply all about the delivery mechanism.

An Academic Explanation Using Simple Economics

In any industry, the cost of goods produced are ultimately borne by the buyers of the finished product. So, for example, if the price of steel goes up, the price of automobiles goes up as well.

But imagine a situation where a radical new material is developed that costs 1/100th the price of steel, but which is actually stronger, can be made in an ordinary kitchen, and can be used to build cars just as well!

What happens to the auto industry?

• Vendors who spent billions tooling up and staffing to work with the old technology have a huge investment problem on their hands. All of a sudden, their tools are essentially worthless.
• Their staff, which is equipped to deal with the old methods of production suddenly require massive retraining. They’ve essentially been obsoleted.
• Buyers learning of the new “upcoming” technology will stop purchasing the old stuff and begin waiting for the new ones.
• The value of obsolete products will plummet, and the price will follow.
• However, in the midst of industrial ruin and falling prices, an even greater demand for the new technology will emerge to fill the void. It’s simple supply and demand. As the price drops, more buyers emerge – but now they want the new stuff!

With the introduction of this disruptive new technology, the auto manufacturers who quickly recognize that the game has radically changed and who are tough enough to make very difficult decisions and retrain / retool for the future have a chance at survival (those who don’t will cease to exist). And because of the new radically decreased cost structure, new entrants will emerge in the market.

What’s All This Got To To With New Media?

Let’s apply the same exact logic to the Television industry. Consider that for most of the last century if you wanted to deliver programming to a large market, the barriers to entry were substantial.

• You had to purchase broadcast rights for airwaves from some governing body.
• Substantial investments in recording and broadcast equipment had to be made.
• Global reach required actual satellites! Mucho dinero!!!

Well, the good news is that the advertisers who supported the industry (the buyers) understood the cost to produce the end product and were willing to support it because there was, after all, no competing technology to deliver the same results.

But one day a few years ago, the industry woke up and learned that something had fundamentally changed. All of a sudden anyone with a camcorder, a computer, and an internet connection could reach the exact same audience – but for a tiny fraction of the cost! (The invention of the internet is like that new steel replacement we just discussed, for 1/100th the cost!)

The results of this radical change in technology? Well, its exactly the same as our auto industry above:

• Vendors who spent billions tooling up and staffing to work with the old technology have a huge investment problem on their hands. All of a sudden, their tools are essentially worthless.
• Their staff, which is equipped to deal with the old methods of production suddenly require massive retraining. They’ve essentially been obsoleted.
• Buyers learning of the new “upcoming” technology will stop purchasing the old stuff and begin waiting for the new ones.
• The value of obsolete products will plummet, and the price will follow.
• However, in the midst of industrial ruin and falling prices, an even greater demand for the new technology will emerge to fill the void. It’s simple supply and demand. As the price drops, more buyers emerge -but now they want the new stuff!

In this case, the buyers are simply the advertisers, who are deciding to hold off on the old advertising expenditures and shift some of that spend to the online medium to try and reach the same number of eyeballs at a dramatically reduced price.

The Real Impact of Decreasing Production Costs

Now, it’s not that the viewers or the advertisers have actually gone anywhere. In reality, there are more people willing to watch, and more people wanting to get their advertising message out now than ever before! But the reach of “new media” personalities has now matched their “traditional media” counterparts, and is threatening to overtake them. For example:

• I personally reach an audience of hundreds of thousands each month with this little blog.
• Cali Lewis reaches an audience of millions each month with GeekBrief.TV.
• Leo Laporte likely reaches tens of millions each month with his various shows.

But our costs to reach these eyeballs are radically lower, so advertisers now have the opportunity to pay a lot less to reach the same end goal, while Cali, Leo and I can easily maintain the same or greater margins for selling our services.

So, yes you will see new personalities emerge in the New Media era. These are the ones who recognized the change early, tackled the learning curve, and effectively carved out their space. But you’re also going to see the old personalities stick around, if they are able to adapt in the same ways.

As I said, it’s not about the people. It’s about their technology.

The End

Damn, that was a long winded explanation. I’ve got nothing left. But if you care to add to the story please drop a comment down in that little chatter box below cause I’d love to hear it.

Related posts:

1. Giovanni Gallucci on Extreme Social Media Hacks
2. The Real ROI of Online Social Media
3. Are You Ready for $5 a Gallon Gas?

Today, October 28, marks the anniversary of one of the most important days in the history of the world, yet few people remember it’s significance. But the Greeks do, and they celebrate OXI day, every year.

The day was October 28, 1940. At dawn that morning (4:00am), after a party in the German embassy in Athens, Mussolini (through Emanuele Grazzi, the Italian ambassador in Greece) issued an ultimatum to Greek Prime Minister Ioannis Metaxas to surrender, or face open war with Italy.

Metaxas, a career military officer and more importantly a proud Greek, was not inclined to acquiesce to Mussolini’s demands (surprise!), thus touching off the beginning of the Greco-Italian War and a series of unbelievable events that would eventually neutralize Italy, cripple Germany, and cost 1,000,000 Greek lives.

The Video Montage

Here is the story of Greek resistance as told through a short video. Heroic, yet sad.

For the Record

What happened next was nicely summed up by Congressman Mike Bilirakis (R-FL), Co-chair of the Congressional Caucus on Hellenic Issues, in a special order speech on the floor of the U.S. House of Representatives to commemorate the anniversary of OXI Day (pronounced “O-hee”). It comes straight from the Congressional Record in Washington, D.C., October 29, 2003.

The full text of Congressman Bilirakis’ remarks follow:

Mr. Speaker, I rise proudly to celebrate “oxi” day. The historical significance of this day and what it meant to the outcome of World War II cannot be overstated. The outcome of a decision made on a day in 1940, had a profound impact on the conducting of the war by Nazi Germany. We’re talking about a stand made by a small, battered and courageous nation, namely Greece, against the larger, more powerful aggressors Italy and Germany.

By October of 1940, World War II had begun, and the Nazi war machine was already in high gear. Along with Hitler’s ally, Italian dictator Benito Mussolini, the German and Italian forces were threatening the whole of Europe. European nations were bowing to tyranny and destruction as the Germans and the Italians marched through Europe.

Great Britain endured Germany’s aerial bombardment, forcing Hitler to seek another avenue to subdue the British. Hitler intended to eliminate British operations in the Mediterranean in order to weaken their ability to deter German advances.

To achieve this, Hitler needed the Axis powers to strike at British forces in Greece. By conquering Greece, Hitler would gain access to an important connecting link with Italian bases in the Dodecanese islands. This would give the Italians a strangle hold on British positions in Egypt, where British forces were already facing attack from the Italian army in north Africa. The British considered the defense of Egypt vital to allied positions in the oil rich Middle East.

On October 28, 1940, the Italian Ambassador in Athens presented an insulting ultimatum to Greek Prime Minister Metaxas, demanding the unconditional surrender of Greece or Italy would declare war and invade Greece. Mussolini had given the Greek Prime Minister Metaxas three hours to reply.

Prime Minister Metaxas responded with the now historic word “oxi”, which means “no” in Greek. His statement embodied the true spirit of the Greek people. His words of defiance echoed the same devotion and love of country that Greek patriots exhibited during their war of independence against the Ottoman empire when they shouted the defiant words “liberty or death.” Prime Minister Metaxas’ actions marked the beginning of one of the world’s most heroic efforts against tyranny and oppression. Italy then invaded.

It is important to note that in addition to Greece having a population seven times smaller than Italy, the disparity in their armed forces was even greater: Italy had close to ten times the firepower of Greece in its army and navy and seven times the troops. Italy’s large air force had total air superiority since Greece had a very small defensive air force. However, despite their lack of equipment, the Greek army proved to be well-trained and resourceful. Within a week of the invasion, it was clear that Italian forces were suffering serious setbacks despite having control of the air and fielding superior armored vehicles.

On November 14th, the Greek army launched a counter-offensive and quickly drove the Italian forces back into Albania. By the next month, the Greeks had captured the town of Pogradec in eastern Albania. The fighting continued for a few more months…it was clear that the Greeks were not going to stand for defeat. In a last ditch effort to bring the war to a close before the Italians would be forced to ask Hitler to intervene, they launched another assault on March 12, 1941. After six days of fighting, the Italians had made only insignificant gains, and it became clear that German intervention was necessary.

On April 6, 1941, Hitler ordered the German invasion of Greece. It took the Germans five weeks to finally end the conflict. This delay proved to be critical to the outcome of the war. Italy’s inability to capture Greece enabled the British to win major victories against Mussolini’s forces in north Africa. This solidified British positions in the region as well as in Cyprus. In addition, it contributed to the failure of the German Barbarossa campaign to conquer Russia.

Due to Mussolini’s humiliating defeat by the Greeks in Albania and Greece, Hitler was compelled to capture the Balkans, mainly Yugoslavia and Greece, thus, delaying his Barbarossa plan to invade and capture the Soviet Union before the winter of 1941. The Greek resistance, both in Albania, and in the other famous battle in Crete, altered, favorably for the allies, his Barbarossa time table by at least six months.

Perhaps most importantly, the Germans never gained the advantage against the British. Although Germany had conquered much of Europe, its inability to decimate British and Russian forces early in the war would eventually prove to be fatal. Thanks to the heroic Greek resistance and their countless sacrifices, the war tide had been permanently changed for Hitler due to the delay of this critical time table.

Nearly one million Hellenes died during that time. That was 14% of the population in 1940. That is equivalent to losing 39 million people in this country TODAY in the case of a war to defend our country.

The entire Western world, discouraged and fearful of the Axis powers and the growing ugly war, took hope from these incredible victories. British Prime Minister Winston Churchill said of the Greeks: “Today we say that Greeks fight like heroes, from now on we will say that heroes fight like Greeks.”

A very small number of those Greeks who fought like heroes are still alive today – some now are American citizens. One of those heroes lives in my congressional district – Mr. Demetrios Palaskas who, along with others, has shared those traumatic stories of the mountain fighting by the rag-tag Greeks against such a powerfully equipped invader. We all salute you Mr. Palaskas – you and your many fellow heroes for helping to keep the world free.

Mr. Speaker, “oxi” day is an inspiration to all those who cherish democracy and freedom. It marks defiance against terrible odds. As an American of Greek descent, I am proud to honor the memory of those brave patriots who fought for freedom for themselves and ultimately for all the free world on this important day.

I’m extremely proud to say that my grandfather, Nickolas Pozadzides, was one of those Greek heroes who fought and survived in World War II. And I’m also extremely proud to say that my other grandfather Cranford W. Gordon served our country proudly in the US Air Force.

Consequences of Resistance

• Greece was eventually forced to confront four different armies: Albania, Bulgaria, Germany, and Italy.
• Greece resisted the Axis powers for over 185 days from Oct 28, 1940 – April 31, 1941
• The Greek victory over the initial Italian offensive of October 1940 was the first Allied land victory of the Second World War, and helped raise morale in occupied Europe.
• The Greek resistance influenced the course of the entire war by forcing Germany to postpone the invasion of the Soviet Union in order to assist Italy.
• By one estimate 311,000 people, or 4.3% of the Greek population, were killed (reference). Among them 140,000 died from starvation during occupation.
• Other estimates put the death toll much higher. For example claims that “over 300,000 civilians died from starvation, thousands more through reprisals”.
• The Greek Resistance, one of the most effective resistance movements in Occupied Europe, was formed. These resistance groups launched guerrilla attacks against the occupying powers and set up large espionage networks.
• Hundreds of villages were systematically torched and almost one million Greeks left homeless.

One of the most touching episodes of the early resistance took place just after the Germans reached the Acropolis on April 27. The Germans ordered the flag guard, Evzone Konstandinos Koukidis, to retire the Greek flag. The Greek soldier obeyed, but when he was done, he wrapped himself in the flag and threw himself off of the plateau where he met death.

Quotes About the Greeks in World War II

“For the sake of historical truth i must verify that only the Greeks, of all the adversaries who confronted us fought with bold courage and highest disregard of death.”
- Adolph Hitler (From speech he delieverd to Reichstagon May 4th 1941)

“I am sorry because I am getting old and I shall not live long to thank the Greek people whose resistance decided WW2.”
– Joseph Stalin (From speech broadcast over radio after victory of Stalingrad January 31 1943)

You fought unarmed and won, small against big. We owe you gratitude because you gave us time to defend ourselves. As Russians and as people we thank you.
- Joseph Stalin

“The war with Greece proved that nothing is firm in the military and that surprises always await us.”
-Benito Mussolini 10/5/1941

“Until now we used to say that Greeks fight like heroes. Now we shall say heroes fight like Greeks.”
-Winston Churchill 1941)

Greek Photos from World War II

More Resources

• Military history of Greece during World War II
• Flickr search for Greece WWII
• Oxi Day on Wikipedia

Related posts:

1. The Definition of Heaven and Hell
2. Judge People by Virtue, not Race
3. Italy Makes Lying Legal – Especially About Affairs!

Apparently, you people can not read! So I’ll tell you once again… This blog is a piece of crap, and you are wasting your time with every word you read! Look. That’s like 10 seconds of your life that you’ll never get back according to Penelope Trunk! Just check out her article, “Blogs without topics are a waste of time“.

I want to send a special shout out to Dan Bates from Monogodo who shared this article with me on Twitter. But come on Dan! What a waste of time that was! Didn’t you know? You could have been reading something “topical” instead of my random mindless dribble.

I mean, whatever was I thinking when I started my blog simply to post… whatever I was thinking? Good thing that Penelope set me straight with her opening salvo first sentence:

Stop thinking that you are such an incredibly wide-ranging thinker with so many interests and insights that you cannot be pinned down to just one topic.

Oops! I better get rid of that tagline up there too! It might be offensive! I mean, perhaps it’s wrong for me to aspire to be more than one dimensional. Maybe I should stick to only one thing that I’m good at? Forever. (Please kill me.)

She goes on…

In the history of writing, everything has a focus. It’s a contract you have with the reader. You stay within the bounds of the reader’s expectations, and if you do that, you can write surprises that seem to stray from your topic, and the reader stays with you. Because surprises are fun. But if there’s no contract because there is no focus, then there are no surprises. Every great piece of writing works this way.

Yes! That… just… happened!

Here I was thinking all along that people enjoy OMB because they never know what’s coming tomorrow. But I see now that this has been holding me back! If I would just stick to the same topic every day, then you would all be surprised if I use a few different words tomorrow!

I challenge you to think of a popular blogger who lacks focus on their blog.

What the hell am I? Chopped liver? I guess I’m just a random blogging piece of crap who accidentally happens to have a higher PageRank and Alexa rank than the next guy. Or maybe I’m not actually what you would consider “popular”. Because I’m not Darren Rowse, or Donny Osmond or someone… I don’t know.

Please do not tell me that you are just going to write whatever you want and you don’t care who reads it, or if anyone reads it. You are lying to yourself. Of course you care. We each have a limited amount of time in our lives, and blogging takes some of that time. Your blog is not your journal. Believe me. I know. I‘ve been keeping a journal since I was five. I have seventy-five volumes of handwritten journals, and it is totally different than blogging because it’s not public. The nature of a blog is that you are choosing to write publicly, so it is, by definition, for other people to read.

Damn! I’m not allowed to say that I’ll write whatever I want and don’t care who reads it? Foiled again! Crikey! Penelope has thought of everything! Ok. I won’t say that then! How about this…

I don’t give a F*%K who reads my blog! If you love it… Yeah! If you think it’s crap… Boo! I figure some things will appeal to some people, and some will appeal to others. If you subscribe and see an interesting topic then maybe you’ll read it that day! If you don’t, you’ll ignore it that day. Kind of like what we do with those things that have all the thin, flat, pieces of dead trees in them… What are those called? Oh yeah. Magazines. Or newspapers. Funny how those have so many topics in them!

In fact, I’m going to set up a meeting with my friend Robert Decherd and tell him he needs to immediately have the Dallas Morning News stick to just one topic! Dammit, he’s missing the boat!

In Summary

Ok. OMB is a worthless piece of crap. I am not a popular blogger. I need to quit acting like I don’t care what other people think and start writing for them, and not me. This is not my diary.

But you know what? I bet if Penelope spent an hour or so exploring my useless, wandering, non-topical, blog. She’d find plenty of entertaining crap. So, is that really a waste of time? 20,000 people a day don’t seem to think so.

Love, John P.

Related posts:

1. The OneMansBlog.com 6 Month Anniversary!
2. OneMansBlog Gets An Overhaul
3. WordCamp Dallas 2008: Panel – The Business of Blogging

Howdy gang!

I’ve been a little slow in updating the blog lately. Sorry for my lack of entertaining everyone as usual. Hope to get back to the fun stuff soon. However, in the meantime here are some updates:

• Alex Terehoff, a Russian blogger, interviewed me recently, and posted the whole thing in both English and Russian. I think it’s the most thorough interview I’ve ever done. So if you want to know anything about me, he probably asked!
• The big news is that Woopra is coming out of beta. Here is a blog post and a video of me explaining what is going on. We’re taking all feedback into consideration, so feel free to share your opinion.
• Tomorrow I’m leaving for Photoshop world in Las Vegas. I hope to come back a dramatically improved photographer. If any of you are going please let me know as I’d love to meet you. Just drop a comment below. Heck, maybe we could even put together a little meetup.
• In a couple of weeks, I’ll be speaking at the Blog World / WordCamp Las Vegas event. My speech will be unlike anything I’ve ever given. So, I suppose if you enjoy my previous lectures, you might not want to miss this one.

But I wonder… what the heck are YOU guys up to? I’m dying to know! So please leave a comment and tell me! Seriously. I’m serious about this. Do it! That is all… :-)

Related posts:

1. John P’s Twitter Updates of the Week 2008-11-16
2. Massive Site Updates
3. My “Top 5″ Photoshop World Photo (Shown During the Keynote!)

So, one of my favorite comedians, Kyle Cease, is having a course where they teach standup comedy to new and aspiring… um, comedians. Make no mistake about it, I NEVER want to be a comedian. Ever.

But I would like to go hang with Kyle and the rest of the folks and just experience what is going on there? Who knows? I might even do some stupid shit and give a few comedians some free material. One can never tell.

Anyway, Kyle asked people to answer a few questions so that he could choose to give one person a free pass to bootcamp. And I decided to answer just for fun! But since there are like 100+ entries (plus who knows if mine actually gets approved!) I figured I’d share my submission here for you guys to tell me how I did. :-)

Yeah! A Quiz! I love quizzes! Psych. I hate them. But for YOU, I’ll take one. So here goes:

* How would you get the most use out of the bootcamp?
I would use bootcamp the same way I used Marine Corps bootcamp. To bring great death and destruction on unsuspecting small nations!

Oh, wait… How would I get the most USE OUT of bootcamp? Hmmm. Personally, I’d use it to make new friends. And perhaps learn how to be a better speaker, because God knows I’m not EVER going to be a stand up comedian! I’m just not that funny…

* What would be the most you can do with the information you will learn?

The most I could do with it? Well, I could video tape every word of it, have them transcribed by underaged $.50 per hour workers in India. Post them to a public blog. Write an e-book about it, then spam 80 million inboxes asking them to download the information. After I get 1 Million downloads I can then publish an actual book and claim to have a book that was read OVER ONE MILLION TIMES! I can then get richer than I already am, and be a famous comedic genius. Bonus!

* What would be the way you would maximize your connections there?

Well, I would start out by having sex with all the women. Cause once you do that, you’ve got em hooked. I would not have sex with the men. Well, maybe Louie Anderson. But that’s where I draw the line.

After the sex part, I guess I might ruthlessly beg people to follow me on Twitter @johnpoz, and on Facebook @johnpoz, and I might even invite a few folks to tag along with me and head over to the Playboy Mansion to hang with Hef.

But I think the Sex thing is the best way. Definitely.

* How would you use your new experience to make a lot of money?

I already have a lot of money. I don’t need any more. :-) BUT, if you want to give me some, I’ll donate it to a worthy charity.

* How could you impact other people with this experience?

Well, don’t forget about my best selling book! I mean, that alone is going to reach like 80 million people!

I suppose if you really wanted me to, I could also drive around and reenact the Charles Manson killings while telling jokes? But I mean, could you further define the word “impact”?

* What would you do with the new 3 camera shoot tape you would get of yourself performing, after you were coached by the best?

Well, it depends. You know the chicks I was going to have sex with? Can we film that?

If not, then I would want to take the 3 camera crew OUT of the studio… Go bar hopping with you, the crew, and the other students. Get everyone hammered drunk. And film the whole thing! THEN I would post it on my blog at OneMansBlog.com to entertain my mother, who reads my blog every single morning before she goes to work (true story).

* How would you make bootcamp apply to you having the most successful future possible?
Listen. What kind of a question is that? I already had sex with a bunch of hot chicks… I wrote a best selling novel… I made a viral video… Damn Kyle! You are a relentless slave driver!!! What more do you want from me?

Psyche. I love that about you man.

Love,

John P.

Related posts:

1. Experiment: What 1 Million Actually Looks Like
2. Australian Comedy – The Front Fell Off
3. OJ’s Confession Book ‘If I Did It’ Leaked! Here’s How To Get It…

Ok everyone, I’m making up a new Twitter / Facebook game. You can use it in either place (or as I plan to do since I use TweetDeck, both).

This little game is called FabriTweet. And here is how it goes:

• You fabricate the most outrageous story that you possibly can fit into 140 characters or less.
• You Tweet it and use the hashtag #fabritweet

I’ve already set my search up in TweetDeck to keep an eye out for FabriTweets, so I hope that someone out there will play along! This could just prove to be a fun creative outlet to provide Christmas cheer all day long.

Oh, by the way! Don’t forget to LEAVE ROOM FOR RETWEETING. If you don’t leave enough space people will either not Re-tweet you, or they’ll modify your text.

G’Day mates!

Related posts:

1. Twitter Has Been Down for 2.5 Hours, Will We Survive?
2. Phosphor, Free Online 3D First-Person Shooter Game
3. TweetScan and the Woopra Twitter-Storm

For years we’ve all seen the Viagra ads. They are on TV, in newspapers and magazines, at sporting events, heck I think they even advertise on the inside of lollipop wrappers to get the kids hooked at an early age. Hmmm. Viagra lollipops anyone? They’ve done such a great job at associating their brand with sex that it makes you wonder how anyone actually has sex without Viagra?

In addition to providing injunctive assistance to men who might actually have some sort of a problem (which may be a good thing, but maybe not too), the boys behind Viagra are clearly, clearly, clearly targeting a much younger and healthier audience in the hopes of getting them to use Viagra for purely recreational purposes. There is ZERO doubt in my mind about this.

Now, I’ve long wondered what the heck is supposed to be so magical about “the little blue pill”? I mean, does it make you last longer? Does it make you bigger? Does it turn you into a raging sexual animal? And while we’re at it, does Red Bull actually give you wings? The problem is, everyone has these questions, but no one with experience is willing to talk about it. Unfortunately, this leaves us with only one side of the story, Pfizer’s commercial messaging!

Well, I decided I was going to get the answers! So I got some Viagra, and here’s what happened.

Before we get started, there is something we should get out of the way up front. Any Viagra review is, by necessity, going to involve a lot of hot, steamy sex. This is something my wife was none too happy about. In hindsight, I probably should have involved her more in that part… (I don’t care who you are, that was funny!)

How to Get Some Viagra

Listen. You don’t want to go messing around with online pharmacies and off-shore doctors. There is a lot of fake crap out there! And this is your health involved here. So just go see your regular doctor and say something like, “hey, I want some Viagra”. If you are healthy enough, and you have a conversation about your rationale for using it, I’m sure it will be no problem.

WARNINGS! DANGER WILL ROBINSON!!!

Lets talk about the label on this stuff. First of all, the active ingredient is called Sildenafil. By most medicine label standards, this one seems kind of tame. I mean, I don’t see anything about bleeding anuses or anything. However, possible side effects include:

Diarrhea, dizziness, flushing, headache, heartburn, mild temporary vision changes, blurred vision, sensitivity to light, stuffy nose, or upset stomach.

What the heck is flushing anyway? Other than what you do when you get hit with the diarrhea they warn about…

They also Caution:

This medicine may cause dizziness, drowsiness, lightheadedness, fainting or blurred vision.

Because when you are rock hard, what you need is to be drowsy.

What is interesting to note are the Storage recommendations:

Store this medicine at 77 degrees, away from heat moisture and light. Brief storage between 59 and 86 degrees F is permitted. Do not store in the bathroom.

Do not store in the bathroom? Um. Most medicine cabinets are in the bathroom, so what’s up with that?

Common uses: This medicine is a phosphodiesterase inhibitor used for treating erectile dysfunction . It may also be used for other conditions as determined by your doctor.

There are several warnings that come with the prescription. Basically, it warns you not to take Viagra with drugs such as nitrates, high blood pressure meds, narcotics, etc. Also, it you’ve been using any sort of drugs or device to get an erection, or if you have eye problems, ulcers, heart problems you need to stay away from Viagra.

But the best warning of all?

“CHILDREN; safety and effectiveness in children have not been confirmed.”

Good lord! Who would feed this stuff to children? More importantly, I’m dying to know what would happen if you did!

Anyway, they also tell you “How to use this medicine”:

Take this medicine by mouth with or without food. It may not work as quickly if you take it with a high-fat meal. It’s usually taken about 1 hour before sexual activity, but may be taken anywhere from 4 hours to a half hour before.

Ok. Now that I know how to use it. Let’s get on with it.

Here’s What Happened

I’m going to tell this part in sort of a narrative story like manner. I think it plays out a little better like this.

John P.: Hey baby. You’re never going to guess what I got.
The Wife: Did you buy another car?!?
John P.: No, no! I got you a surprise!
The Wife: A new purse?
John P.: Um no.
The Wife: Some new shoes?
John P.: Um. No. What part of “you’re never going to guess…” didn’t you get?
The Wife: Oh. Well, tell me.
John P.: Viagra!
The Wife: What?
John P.: Yep. Now we’re going to see what this baby can do with super-unleaded in the system!
The Wife: Oh brother…

Well, you can use your imagination on the rest of this highly romantic, sweep-her-off-her-feet banter. You’ll probably do better than I did. But eventually I did get her to agree to a test run of the new and medically-improved me.

So, about a half hour before our scheduled departure on the Love Train, I popped a 50mg dose of the blue wonder. I also drank some water. I hadn’t had anything substantial to eat, so it was more or less on an empty stomach. Then we waited.

Well, we weren’t really waiting. We were doing other stuff. Normal stuff. But I was standing by just waiting to “spring to life”, although I was also trying not to really think about it so as to not ruin the test results. And we kept waiting, and waiting. But guess what. The urgency never came. In fact, I could have probably gone to sleep and that would have been that!

But, being a man, eventually I did tire of waiting (big surprise), and it came time to get busy and see what this baby could do! So after setting the stage with a little romantic music (Beasty Boys, Run DMC and the always popular 50 Cent) we settled down for some sweet, sweet lovin’. It was fantastic (just imagine if I didn’t say that… I would be in big trouble!), but there was just one problem. Um. It wasn’t “different”. Well, actually, it was.

The problem is, as a result of taking the pill I experienced a few mild to medium side effects:

• It made me pretty tired. I mean, before any work was done!
• I got a little dizzy.
• I felt a little sick at my stomach.
• I got a headache.
• My eyes got pretty sensitive to light.
• I got a little pain in the center of my chest.
• Strangely, my nose got congested.

As you can see, a perfect set of situations for a romantic engagement… Oh, I should mention that prior to taking the pill I was in perfect condition. I had none of the symptoms above and am positive they were a direct consequence of taking the pill. All began within 20-60 minutes of consumption.

So basically what happened was that the pill gave me the same symptoms as a very weak version of the flu. I went from feeling 100% good to feeling 50% bad. Now, at this point, I’d like to break away from the details and get to a few generalizations.

5 Things I Learned From Taking Viagra

1. Viagra doesn’t make you (or her) “horny”. You’re still responsible for that part my friend. But if you’re taking this for recreational purposes, that’s probably not a problem… Still, don’t be thinking that Viagra is an aphrodisiac. You’re going to need to eat those oysters and take the Spanish Fly if that’s what you want.
2. Viagra will not make you bigger. That’s right. There will be no proud moment of “standing tall”, basking in your own manly magnificence. Unless, like me, you were already blessed with the “magnificent” gene. (Come now, you knew there was going to be a penis joke somewhere, didn’t you?) Besides, the guys from Enzyte already went to jail for promising to make you bigger, so don’t be thinking that anything other than surgery is going to do that!
3. Sex is not going to last any longer because of Viagra. (With one exception that I’ll get to in a minute. Get it? A minute? Never mind.) If you have an early arrival problem, you’re going to need to get some cream to take care of that or something. (Think of Bea Arthur.) Because Viagra is not a desensitizer.
4. You might be able to have a little more sex, but not much. Let’s face it, men have a refractory period for a reason. Sex usually requires a lot of work (it burns a lot of calories too), and most guys need to recuperate. Don’t expect that this pill will supercharge your cardiovascular system. If you’re a fat, out of breath slob… you’re still going to need an oxygen tank. So, even if you could do it again, will you really want to? Probably not. Especially not if it makes you as sick as it made me.
5. This crap is expensive!!! Yeah, are you ready for this. $16 PER PILL! And it ain’t covered by most insurance. So, you need to consider what is your money best spent on. Cause $16 will buy liquor, flowers and chocolate. Or it will get you a single blue pill. Do the math. A bottle of 30 pills goes for nearly a whopping $500. So buy a Corvette with that monthly payment and you’ll probably get more action!

The Finish

Well, in the end, Viagra for me was a flop. I was expecting to come away with hard evidence that this pill would really pump up the action for even an average performer. (And the little lady was expecting an extraordinary experience!) Instead, I came to the realization that Viagra’s benefits are fairly flacid. The long wait was certainly nothing to be excited about, and I wouldn’t bend over backwards to try and get my hands on it or anything.

Seriously though, if you have genuine Erectile Disfunction I imagine that it could make life very tough. Intimacy is a key component of our humanity, and you should not suffer in silence. I honestly think that Viagra might assist with obtaining enough of an erection for intimacy, and that is priceless (regardless of side effects). Please see a doctor about your issue!

But for those of you who have been wondering for a long time what recreational use of the little blue pill will do for you, I offer the following.

There are times in life when it’s worth it to look for the quick fix. But a sexual encounter with your loved one is not one of them. We were biologically wired to enjoy what we’ve got, and no pill is going to magically make that better. (This one actually made it worse.) So rather than letting the marketing professionals dominate your brain patterns with thoughts of enhanced sex, how about if we get back to doing it the old school way?

Dinner, wine, chocolate and romance will end in a far more gratifying experience than a cold hard pill.

Now, if you think this information is actually valuable to the Web you’re going to have to overcome any personal inhibitions and Tweet, Digg and link to this article. Otherwise it’s going to be lost amongst the SPAM when people are searching for real Viagra information.

Oh, and if you’ve tried Viagra, please tell us about it! I’ve already blown my cover, but you can be as anonymous as you want in the comments, so this is your chance to chime in!

Related posts:

1. Buy Cheap Viagra And SEO
2. John P Hard at Work
3. My Brand New Mega Yacht – The John P!

Look, there is no delicate way to put this. Bob Donovan, I hereby formally invite you to participate with me in a no-holds-barred MMA style cage match to be broadcast on live television. I’m 100% serious. Because I want to kick your ass, and I’m quite sure I can do it too.

Wait! What’s Going On Here?

My other dear readers may be asking themselves, who is this Bob Donovan, and what exactly has he done to John P.? Well, I’ve got no idea who Bob Donovan is, but what he did to me was send me an annoying Twitter spam with a link to nothing other than an affiliate site (belonging to 10 Best Hosting 2009).

Oh, and that link does nothing other than direct traffic to the Web site link http://www.10besthosting2009.com/#1492937361/. You see that number at the end? I’m sure that is an affiliate tracking link, and 10 Best Hosting is paying this spammer to fish people in to their Web site. That is assuming they are not directly behind it!

By the way, you can’t trust anything that site says about hosting, because all they are doing is listing hosting providers who pay them the most money for referrals. You want independent “reviews”? Ask someone who is NOT getting paid by the people they are “reviewing”.

Back To The Filthy Spammer

But I digress. Back to Bob Donovan. This is nothing more than an automated “bot” which is using the Twitter API to look for the name of hosting providers and respond to the people mentioned in those tweets with a recommendation to follow their affiliate link. It’s merely disguised to look like a person, but it’s just as bad or worse than e-mail and blog spam. And of course I hate all spammers and want them to die!

Notice the Tell-Tell signs of an automated spammer:

• Several posts within seconds of one another.
• All using the Twitter API for posting.
• All with identical wording.

What’s a Boy To Do?

So what did I do about it? Well, if you are using TweetDeck, you can choose the User menu by hovering over the user’s Avatar and then select Block & Report Spam. Which is what I did. But who knows if Twitter will actually do a damn thing about it!

Finally: The Offer

So, the next thing I’ll do is offer Bob Donovan (or whoever is behind it) $5,000 to go three 5 minute rounds with me – full contact, MMA style! So come on Bob! You wanna make some money? Put your body where your bot is.

Oh, and just because I don’t want anyone to confuse the funny, joking, “ha ha” John P. with this offer, let me be clear. I will honestly pay, and this is a bonafied offer for one $5,000 ass whipping to any spammer who will take me up on it.

But make sure your insurance is paid up, because you’re gonna need it!

Related posts:

1. Those Sneaky Bastard Spammers!
2. I Still HATE Spammers! DIE SPAMMERS DIE!!!
3. The New Layered Tech Affiliate Program Launch!

This past weekend I had the extreme pleasure of hosting the WordCamp Dallas event. I got to see a lot of people I met last year, as well as plenty of new faces. And it was a wonderful experience! Unfortunately, this weekend was also marred by a silent struggle in our family as we were forced to watch one of our two beloved dogs suffer the agony associated with the end of a prolonged battle with kidney failure.

Sandy was a Greyhound mix who we adopted more than ten years ago. My wife and I were walking through the mall on a Saturday afternoon, and the SPCA had a small booth with a few dogs who needed a home. When I spotted Sandy laying on the floor I thought she was an absolutely beautiful dog. I walked over and knelt down to pet her, and when she saw me she stood up, stepped toward me and put her head right up to my chest as if she knew and trusted me all her life.

We weren’t planning on adding to our family that day, but she was so irresistible that I fell in love with her instantly! So we adopted her on the spot and took her home to meet her new sister Lexi.

Over the past decade, Sandy and Lexi have become inseparable. Neither wants to be without the other, not even to go outside. They have both been our constant companions, and they love us more than I believe any human ever could. Their love is unconditional, immeasurable, and absolutely unwavering. Not a day has gone by when I didn’t open the door to find them both waiting to greet me. Looking up at me with those big black eyes and their wagging tails. In essence, dogs are everything we wish humans could be.

Oh… she was mischievous. We couldn’t leave important papers, socks, or a great many other things laying around within her reach because she loved to chew them up or hide them. And she would eat absolutely anything! If you were willing to put it in your mouth, so was she. Vegetables, fruits, candy, popcorn, whatever… it was all good to her!

But she also had a sweet side. She was one of those rare dogs that everyone seemed to fall in love with instantly. She was soft, sleek and beautiful, and she loved to be touched. In fact, just a single finger touching her was enough to keep her happy. And as long as there were people around, there was never a shortage of love.

Sandy held a special place in my heart which will never be replaced or repaired. I am going to miss her more than I could ever express.

Related posts:

1. Lexi and Sandy Lounging Around the Kitchen
2. LaCroix Water – Even My Dogs Wouldn’t Drink It!
3. Please Help Me Fight Cancer

Tonight I had dinner with a group of guys from work. We had traditional deep dish style Chicago pizza at Gino’s East at Wells and Ontario in downtown Chicago.

The Pizza was good, especially if you love deep dish smothered in tomato sauce. Personally I’m a bigger fan of thin crust New York style pizza. But hey, I’m not complaining. Anyway, after we pigged out on pie and it was time to to back to the hotel, we had a decision to make.

Should we take a cab? Or should we just walk – even though it’s -8 degrees outside? (That’s -22 celcius for my friends across the pond…)

So, I fired up the old iPhone and brought up Google Maps. It’s a great little app because you can put in any address and tell it to navigate you to that spot from where you are. You can even tell it if you’re in a car or walking. When I put in the hotel address it informed me that the walking time was going to be 9 minutes over a distance of half a mile.

This didn’t help with the decision process. I mean, if it had been like a mile, there is no way we would have walked. If it was like 3 blocks, we were totally down with it. But damn if it didn’t split the distance perfectly!

Now, as one of my favorite comedians on Comedy Central once advised… “always do what makes for the best story!” So, we decided to hoof it.

So, my buddy Chris from Layered Tech and I headed out from Erie and Ontario going west for about 4 blocks. At first, the night air felt tingly and cold. I would say that on exposed skin it kind of felt as if you had misted ice cold water. It really wakes you up.

Now, I had been carrying my Canon XHA1 camcorder with me so I could transfer some video we shot at the office once I got back to the hotel room, and I decided to use the camera feature and snap a few photos along the way.

At first it was all fun and games. Although Chris wasn’t too amused by my stopping to take pictures. But we plodded on. After about two blocks, the complaining began. We both started commenting about just how damn cold it was. At this point, the exposed surfaces, like your nose and lips, are getting as cold as if you had been outside for hours in merely cold weather.

But we continued on. As we were walking past the metal street lights, I triple dog dared Chris to stick his tongue on one of them like the kid in A Christmas Story. He almost did it too! But sanity got the best of him. I should have waited till it was a little colder because his common sense might have shut down, and then we’d have a REAL story to tell.

Anyway, by the time we got near the halfway point we passed this giant McDonalds. I’m not kidding, the thing occupies like a city block. By this time there was a lot of whining going on, and I suggested we stop in there and warm up. Hot chocolate was sounding mighty good. But Chris was not having any of that. We set out to go half a mile, and neither hell nor high water was going to stop him from doing it.

As we finally arrived at Dearborn Street and began making our way up to the hotel, we were getting freakin cold. I remember remarking at that point that I could barely feel my fingers. And on top of that, I also remember saying that breathing was getting painful. The cold air was stinging my throat and nostrils.

But we kept going.

Two more blocks, and even Chris was really complaining at this point. The remarks were something like this, “I’ve never been this cold in my life.” To make matters worse, the wind was picking up on Dearborn, and we seemed to be walking right into it. With the wind chill it was like -17 degrees!

When we finally neared the hotel, we were passing a corner bar, and these three people were standing outside smoking on the corner. With no freakin jackets on! Now, they may have been inside getting liquored up, but I just can’t imagine standing out there for even 3 minutes trying to suck in that nicotine. I mean, you have to be really dedicated to killing yourself to do that!

As we arrived at the hotel we were both feeling pretty relieved, and Chris decided that just to make a point he was going to lay down in the snow and make a freakin snow angel!!!! The only problem was, by this time my camcorder was literally freezing up. It had gotten so cold that the LCD screen could no longer really refresh, and this meant I couldn’t see what pictures I was taking. In fact, I wasn’t sure if I was getting anything.

When we entered the building and began trying to remove some of our clothing, I noticed that my thighs, which my jeans had been clinging to in the head on wind, were actually burning. That’s right, they felt hot! They were so cold that they were burning! I didn’t know that could even happen.

So, what I learned was that even though we were all bundled up, and only took about 15 minutes to get from point A to point B, that kind of temperature is absolutely unbearable, and a human can not really survive very long in that weather. So, when they tell you that you should stay inside when it’s this cold out, they have good reason to give that advice.

Still, I’d do it all over again just for the experience.

Related posts:

1. I Discovered the Secret to Happiness at 7-11
2. Mann’s Chinese Theatre and the Hollywood Walk of Fame
3. The Sun Sets on Chicago O’Hare Airport

• Strangely, I am in a good mood this morning for no reason whatsoever. I wonder why that sort of thing happens? Environment? Hormones? #
• Damn I’m getting old. I just stood up, and pulled a MAJOR muscle in my lower back. I need some sort of narcotic pain reliever. #
• I highly recommend listening to Geoff Smith LIVE on UStream NOW!!! http://www.ustream.tv/channel/geoffsmith #
• I’m taking Aaron (from ANOTHERMansBlog.com) to Rudy’s BBQ to bury the hatchet… In a pig! #
• Looking for suggestions of things to do in Austin, TX and places to eat. #
• Here lies Stephen F. Austin. Father of Texas, at the Texas State Cemetary. http://twitpic.com/lyoc #
• The Texas State Capital building is even bigger than the US Capital. Exactly as it should be… http://twitpic.com/lz0n #

Related posts:

1. View of the Texas State Capital in Austin, TX
2. Scenes from Austin, Texas
3. John P. Updates for All!

Here we are on the eve before we discover who will become the next President of the United States. Already it is set to be a historic election.

• We will either have the first African-American as Commander in Chief, or the oldest ever President and the first woman in an Executive office.
• We will see record voter turn out all over the US (California, Nevada, Florida, Georgia, Michigan, Louisiana, Minnesota and more…)
• We’ve been on the election trail for nearly two years… the longest and costliest campaign in US history.
• The next President follows Bush’s historically low approval ratings and many difficult challenges.

But what happens after tomorrow?

Well tomorrow we are going to have a new President. Like him, or not, we are all still Americans and if there is anything this election can teach us, it’s that we all care deeply for our country. So the question of America’s greatness will not be measured by how voraciously we campaigned for “our” President, but how openly we embrace our future and one another.

Let’s not forget that all of the good people we are about to put in office across this land are there to represent each and every one of us. The political process is not something we should merely dust out once every four years. It’s something that requires an ongoing open and honest dialog with our state and federal representatives – and with one another.

Mark my words, within a week the emotional coffers of the campaign will be drained. But you and I will be the same. What then, my friends?

Today at work I heard one employee encouraging another to vote by using the argument, “If you don’t vote, you lose the right to complain for the next four years.” But is that really the end of the story? I don’t think so…

I would submit that free and democratic governance is a process that allows us to actively contribute on a daily basis. I know that I have done my part, and I would suggest the following ways that you can participate as well:

• Attend a city council meeting. Learn what issues are facing your local community. Don’t be afraid to stand up and share your opinion (but please do some research first).
• Volunteer for a committee. You’d be surprised at how many your city has that you could participate in. You and your fellow citizens will have direct control over local governance.
• Set an appointment to speak with your local state or federal representative. If you have two to three topics you’d like to address, take some notes and share your opinion and rationale. Don’t spend more than 5 minutes on any subject, and make sure you’ve got sound bites he/she can remember when the topic comes up.
• Write your senators and Governors and regularly express your opinion. They actually read these things – or at least have staff that do in order to keep track of trends and areas of concern.

I’d like to finish this editorial with a little story, if you don’t mind.

In 2006 I was honored to be asked to serve on the Citizen’s Bond Committee for the city of Frisco, TX. The committee was made up of 21 residents, and we were asked to evaluate the infrastructure requirements for Frisco for the next three to four years in order to send a recommendation to the City Council which would ultimately end up on an election ballot for the citizens at large to vote on.

During the months we spent deliberating and debating I witnessed a lot of fierce disagreement. I also remember arguing my points, and listening to other points of view presented. During that time I changed my mind on various projects, and I witnessed others change their minds as well. The people in that room were neither Democrats or Republicans. They were just concerned citizens.

In the end no one was 100% satisfied, but we managed to put forth a unanimous recommendation to the Council nonetheless. That recommendation was accepted without modification, and later every line item was overwhelmingly approved by the citizens.

There are a few morals to the story:

• If you volunteer to serve, you absolutely have a shot at making a real difference.
• People can and will change their minds over time. This is not a weakness, but a strength of being human.
• In the end, it is possible to bring both sides together on most issues. And it’s always worth at least giving it a try.

So when it’s all over and done with are you going to go back to your old routine, or are you going to continue to take action?

Related posts:

1. 13 Mistakes of the McCain/Palin 2008 Election Campaign
2. 7-Election Campaign Coffee – Cast Your Vote With a Cup of Joe!
3. Educational Qualifications: Obama and Biden vs. McCain and Palin

Thanks to Jason for pointing out that Bobby Fischer, the Chess Master, is now dead.

I feel the same way about Bobby Fischer as I do about Charles Manson. These are two people whose views of the world are sickeningly twisted to the point that the only conclusion I can make is that mental illness is involved in both cases.

Bobby lived his whole life for only two purposes, to play a game, and to be the poster child for antisemitism. His flagrant disregard for laws and authority caused him to blame the U.S. Government or the Jews for everything that ever happened to him. Even in death he laid blame at the feet of the Japanese and Icelandic governments. If you ask me, Fischer was a media whore and he probably just broke the law everywhere he went in order to stay in the limelight.

Why do I say that? Well, here are a few choice quotes:

Bobby Fischer: This is, they, they did this all behind my back.
Pablo Mercado: Umhum.
B.F.: Nobody contacted me–nothing.
P.M.: All right.
B.F.: Nobody contacted my lawyers–nothing. The fuckin Jews want to destroy everything I’ve worked for all of my life.
P.M.: What, what–
B.F.: There was no holocaust the Jews are liars. It’s time we took off the kid gloves with these parasites.
P.M.: All right with, with all of these things Mr., uh, Fischer what do you intend to do now?
B.F.: I intend to do what I’m doing right now.
P.M.: What?
B.F.: –Which is to expose the Jews for the criminals they are, the parasites they are, the liars they are, the thieves they are, the murderers they are.

Oh, and if you really want to remember what a freak this guy was, watch the video here and you’ll understand what I’m talking about.

Related posts:

1. Saddam Hussein is Dead
2. The Massive List of Genius – People With the Highest IQ
3. Iran threat like Nazis: Netanyahu

I just wanted to take a moment to tell everyone Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! I know that not everyone is a Christian, so forgive me for not doing the cliche thing and listing out every possible greeting for the various holiday seasons.

What I would be really, really interested in though – is finding out what the coolest gifts everyone received for the holiday season! So, either drop a comment below and share your bounty, or ping me with a trackback from your own blog post about whatever cool new toy you got!

And once again, Happy Holidays!

Related posts:

1. And a Merry Christmas to You Too!
2. The Best Christmas Lights… Ever
3. John P. Updates for All!

The other day I sat down to watch The Princess Bride for about the 10,000th time. Man that is a great movie! Anyway, when I was watching the part where Vizzini, the Sicilian, was answering the question as to how smart he is, he said:

“Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates? Morons.”

So, I decided to mosey on over to the Interwebs and find a list of people with the highest IQ ever measured, and lo and behold I couldn’t find one! So for the sake of future searchers, I compiled the following information. Enjoy.

Background Info

In order to establish a baseline knowledge, IQ (intelligence quotient) is a score derived from attempting to measure the actual mental horsepower of any given individual. Personally I place little value in IQ tests, but I do acknowledge that they are an indicator of some common potential success factors, so we’ll leave it at that.

The “average” IQ is by definition 100, so if you score below that you are dumber than average, and above it means smarter than average.

Commonly acknowledged IQ Score Ranking System:

IQ Score Traditional Ranking System 140 + (~.25%) Genius or near genius 130 – 139 Gifted 120 – 129 Very Superior Intelligence 110 – 119 Superior Intelligence 90 – 109 Average/Normal 80 – 89 Dullness 70 – 79 Borderline deficiency 50 – 70 Mild mental retardation 35-50 Moderate mental retardation 20 – 35 Severe mental retardation < 20 Profound mental retardation (1%)

The distribution of IQ scores is as follows: 50% of IQ scores fall between 90 and 110 70% of IQ scores fall between 85 and 115 95% of IQ scores fall between 70 and 130 99.5% of IQ scores fall between 60 and 140 A score of 132 equals the top 2% A score of 134 equals the top 1% A score of 68 equals the bottom 2% A score of 66 equals the bottom 1%

The Highest IQs On Record

People Still Alive

• Physicist / Engineer Kim Ung-yong has a verified IQ of 210
• Bouncer Christopher Michael Langan has a verified IQ of 195
• Engineer Philip Emeagwali is alleged to have an IQ of 190
• World Chess Champion Garry Kasparov is alleged to have an IQ of 190
• Author Marilyn Vos Savant has a verified IQ of 186
• Actor James Woods is alleged to have an IQ of 180
• Politician John H. Sununu is alleged to have an IQ of 180
• Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu is alleged to have an IQ of 180
• Mathematician Andrew Wiles is alleged to have an IQ of 170
• World Chess Champion Judith Polgar is alleged to have an IQ of 170
• Chess Grandmaster Robert Byrne is alleged to have an IQ of 170
• World Chess Champion Bobby Fischer is alleged to have an IQ of 167
• Mathematician / Physicist Stephen W. Hawking is alleged to have an IQ of over 160
• Microsoft Founder Paul Allen is alleged to have an IQ of over 160
• Actress Sharon Stone is alleged to have an IQ of 154

From the Past

In 1926, psychologist Dr. Catherine Morris Cox – who had been assisted by Dr. Lewis M. Terman, Dr. Florence L. Goodenaugh, and Dr. Kate Gordon – published a study “of the most eminent men and women” who had lived between 1450 and 1850 to estimate what their IQs might have been. Data from that study as well as other sources around the net were compiled to form the following list. Please drop me a comment if you have additions or corrections (make sure and cite sources).

Also, see Wikipedia’s list of Universal Genius (Polymaths).

Test YOUR IQ

Now that you’ve read all about these really smart people, surely you want to know how you compare? Well, set aside a full 40 minutes and go through this test to determine where you are on the evolutionary chain.

Select the image below and the clock starts when the test loads, so be prepared in order to get the full 40 minutes. Trust me, you’re gonna need it! Oh, and if you answer “A” on every question, you get a 72! (a=72, b=65, c=65, d=65, e=72, f=72, g= 65, and h=65 – Only The Man would help you cheat on an IQ test!)

EDIT: I received the following e-mail from Mike, a former school psychologist of 30 years, regarding the validity of this IQ Test:

…one of the better and possibly fairly accurate IQ tests (11/8/07) seen on the net. Two caveats:
1. This test evaluates visual spatial reasoning skills, and not verbal which some may say would be a bias toward guys.
2. This test does not assess processing speed and ability to make quick/accurate and perhaps more c creative choices.

For different view of intelligence away from IQ try: Theory of Multiple Intelligences

If it turns out you are a Genius, join a club! Here’s how to hook up with your intellectual peers:

• The Genius Society
• Mensa International
• International High IQ Society
• Poetic Genius Society
• The Mega Society
• The Triple Nine Society

By the way, why is it that most of the high IQ society Web sites suck so bad? And if I may inquire additionally, why is it that none of them have sections on their sites where they are actually teaching people by translating highly complex issues into understandable language?

Now, for the rest of us (I score just above a moderately intelligent canine, but just below a porpoise), you can just join the One Man’s Blog Society for the Incredibly Average. Believe me, we have a lot more fun around here.

Related posts:

1. Smartest Man in the World Espouses Virtues of Eugenics
2. New Top Commenters List on One Mans Blog
3. 2 Billion People Tune In To Live Earth Concert

Today’s post is unfortunately a sad one. We lost a very close family member this weekend to a long battle with a number of ailments including Cancer. It was one of those situations where our loved one was taken decades before her time, but at least it was not something that just occurred suddenly.

It’s been a very sad weekend, but at the same time one that reminds me how precious life is. I also came to the personal realization that grief is for the living, not the dead. We have to continue on through this world forever missing a part of ourselves that can never be refilled.

This weekend also reminded me of a commitment I made some time ago to help Stanford University’s Folding@Home project which researches fundamental causes of diseases such as Alzheimer’s, Mad Cow (BSE), CJD, ALS, Huntington’s, Parkinson’s disease, and many Cancers and cancer-related syndromes. Cancer and Parkinson’s have both impacted my family and I believe that with enough emphasis we can cure these crippling diseases.

And you can help Stanford’s research by simply running a tiny piece of software on your computer that only uses the spare cycles when you don’t need them.

Folding@home is a distributed computing project — people from throughout the world download and run software to band together to make one of the largest supercomputers in the world. Every computer takes the project closer to its goals. Folding@home uses novel computational methods coupled to distributed computing, to simulate problems millions of times more challenging than previously achieved.

Over a year ago I established a Folding Team for HTMLHelp.com and since that time 22 people have contributed, moving the team almost into the top 1% of contributing teams to the project.

So, my question now is, won’t you please lend your spare computing cycles to the Folding@Home project? All you need to do is install this small program, and in the settings enter your name as well as the HTMLHelp Team ID 51056. There is software for Windows, Linux, Mac and even the Playstation 3.

The more computers you can install it on, the better! You can see that my brother is kicking my butt because he installed it on a bunch of machines at his office and I simply couldn’t keep up. As long as you use the same name, and put in the right team number you can get credit for work units across any number of machines. And there are plenty of bragging rights up for grabs!

PS – As a little extra incentive I’ve already decided that next month’s Member of the Month prize is going to be awarded to one or more of the contributors to this project, so feel free to get started now if you are so inclined!

Related posts:

1. Let Your PC Help Cure Cancer!
2. Let Your PC Help Cure Cancer!
3. Scientists ‘Train’ Cells to Fight Cancer

You know, I don’t think I could be any more disappointed in Google than I am today.

And that is a shame because I’m normally a big fan. I mean, just look… I’ve got an entire category dedicated to Google Tools with 50 posts in it! But the problem is, today Google decided to penalize a whole boatload of sites for some reason or another, and in the process they dropped OMB from a PR7 to PR5. And just in the last few weeks it had already moved from a PR8 to PR7.

I just don’t understand this at all. I know Matt Cutts, and have spoken with him and we’ve e-mailed one another several times on the topic of Google PageRank, and even I just have no idea why in the hell this happened.

Now, a whole slew of other notable blogs and sites were just de-ranked severely, but most of those were done this way because they were selling links without the “rel=’nofollow’” attribute on them. HOWEVER, Matt and I spoke about the ads that I’ve sold on my homepage and he knows that they have that attribute assigned to them! So I should not be penalized for that.

So, what other reason could there possibly be for such a magnitude of PageRank demotion in one fell swoop? From a PR8 to PR5 in just a few weeks!?! And for doing absolutely nothing! I’ve used the Bad Link Neighborhood checker tool to see if somehow I linked to something that hurt me. Nope. I’ve NEVER done anything blackhat SEO to warrant this. Heck, I even took great care with my monthly contests to never ask for any specific linking or anything like that. Hell you don’t even have to link to win! And on top of everything else, I donate all the money I earn from this blog to charity! So there is just no economic incentive for me to cheat – and everyone knows this.

Now, if there is a lesson to be learned here, it is that you can NEVER, NEVER, NEVER trust Google. I’ve been silent for far too long on this matter, but they are demanding that we all bastardize our Web sites with this non-standard attribute “rel=nofollow” which has failed to gain traction with the other search engines and failed to make it’s way into the Web standards for years. OK, fine. Google asks that we label text links with “rel=nofollow” and then we do but they still penalize us!

Mark my words. If this can happen here on One Man’s Blog, it can happen to your site as well! And absolutely no one at Google gives a shit whatsoever. I really mean that 100%. Although I think Matt is a nice guy, I do not believe that he’ll even blink an eye about dropping this site’s PR even though he knows first hand that I’ve instituted nofollow at his personal request.

And I know with absolute certainty that the guys working over in the abuse group at Google don’t give a shit either because my conversations with them have been unbelievable. They just don’t care. They talk to me as if I’m a freaking child. No respect whatsoever.

And why should they? Google rules the Internet. It doesn’t matter that they create massive negativity with popular sites like mine. They are to the Internet what Microsoft is to software. Ubiquitous. So, as far as the Google search quality team is concerned, I take their message as a giant “F- You!”

Oh, and let’s assume for a moment that this drop is independent of my legal text link advertisers (thanks guys!). Well, what is it for? I’ve logged into the Webmaster Tools area, and there isn’t any indicator as to why the penalty has been instituted. So how would I be expected to fix whatever the heck they think I’m doing wrong? And if they really did give a crap, wouldn’t they want me to fix it so that I could go back to the “natural” rank my site should have? I mean all they have to do is put a notification into the Webmaster Tools area and I (and I’m sure everyone else) would take care of it!

So Thanks Google! Are you done with me yet? ‘Cause yeah, it’s sore.

Related posts:

1. Google Sucks Again!!!
2. John P is Number 2 on Google!
3. WordCamp San Francisco 2009: Matt Cutts’ Lecture – Straight From Google, What You Need To Know

I know this post is kind of random and out of the blue, but I was listening to someone on the radio making some ignorant statements and I had some thoughts I wanted out of my head…

I understand that some countries don’t like the US. I also understand that this is almost universally true when it comes to countries that lack freedom (Iran, N. Korea, China, the former USSR, etc).

But how can it ever come as a surprise to anyone when the US decides to take action? Let’s face it, you know if you’re a friend or a foe of the US LONG before anything happens.

46 years ago President Kennedy said:

“Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and success of freedom.”

Am I supposed to believe the world thinks we changed our minds?

I just thought it was important to get this out there because lately I’ve been providing information about the Opportunity Cost of the War in Iraq, quoting Bush’s hypocritical statement about nation building, and citing the new Presidential Dictatorship Doctrine.

Despite the current situation, anyone on earth would be out of their mind to even think for one split second that the US would shy away from any conflict if we felt our freedom, or that of one of our allies were seriously at risk.

I really just can’t understand why anyone wouldn’t want to ally with the US? Doing so gives you the biggest trading partner in the world, a great country to vacation in plus reciprocal tourism, the ability to get massive loans and foreign aid, the ability to influence US decisions, and much more. Being a foe is just bad news…

Related posts:

1. Privacy Equals Freedom – Support the Freenet Project
2. “Read My Lips, I’m Not a Nation Builder.” – G.W. Bush
3. The War on Pot Costs America $42 Billion Annually

We often hear about how the US is such a consumption oriented country. We’ve got the fattest people, we pollute the most, we’re spoiled… yeah, yeah, whatever.

But here is an interesting way to look at the economic impact the US plays on the global economy. You see, comparing the Gross Domestic Product of another nation, say… Canada, to the US is just silly. In fact, the entire output of Canada is roughly equal to just the state of Texas.

The graphic was produced about 3 years ago, so it’s a little dated, but still accurate enough to illustrate the concept.

What you are looking at is a comparison of each US State to an entire other country with roughly the same GDP. The numbers represented are the population of the foreign country (in millions of people) as compared to the US State. The data is represented in the following tables. I’ve provided them sorted by US State on the left and by Country on the right so they can be cross referenced quickly either way:

There is also a complete list of countries on Wikipedia here.

These comparisons actually cause me to think quite a bit about the relative disparity between life in the US and life in other countries. For example, the very first state on the list, Alabama, is not considered a very wealthy state at all. Yet the citizens of Alabama are 14.6 times better off than the 66 million Iranians. Frankly, the disparity is so great I don’t think most Americans can even imagine what it would be like to live in most other countries.

I’m curious if anyone else might make other observations.

Related posts:

1. Kim Jong Il Should Die
2. NCSU Professor Advocates “Exterminating White People”
3. Yee-haw! For the State Fair of Texas