There seems to be some rumors going around about Chuck Norris and what he is, and isn’t capable of. These rumors seem to be perpetuated partially due to the fight scene I previously shared in which Bruce Lee kicks Chuck Norris’ Ass.
However, I assure you that was merely acting, and in order to clear this matter up I wanted to pass along the following list of facts:
- Children go to bed in Superman pajamas, but Superman goes to bed in Chuck Norris pajamas.
- Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
- Chuck Norris counted to infinity … Twice.
- Chuck Norris can speak Braille.
- Chuck Norris does not read books. He just stares them down until they give him the information he wants.
- Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through dry land.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep, he waits.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t dodge bullets, bullets dodge Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
- There is no such thing as evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
- Chuck Norris is able to divide by zero.
- When Chuck Norris is entering a room he is not turning the lights on. He turns the darkness off.
