Specialization is for Insects.
I’m a big fan of Iron Man, and it’s one of those movies where the sequel was actually as good as the original! Having said that, you know it wasn’t really very realistic now, was it?
Luckily for us, someone has corrected that issue and now we have an alternate ending. So, here’s how Iron Man SHOULD have ended!
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Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.
Officer: Don’t have one?
Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Woman: I can’t do that.
Officer: Why not?
Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
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A 6 year-old and his 4 year-old brother are in their bedroom. The 6-year-old turns to his younger brother and says, “I think it’s time we start cussing. When we go downstairs I’ll say ‘hell’, and you say ‘ass’.”
“OK!” The younger brother enthusiastically agrees!
When their mother walks into the kitchen and asks the older brother what he wants for breakfast he replies, “Hell, Mom, I guess I’ll have some Cheerios.”
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Please tell me that you’ve seen the Spider Man movies? I mean, they only generated about a quadrillion dollars! So I assume everyone has seen them!
Anyway, here’s an awesome little take on how Spiderman 3 should have ended!
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Yes, there is a God. And he put these people on Earth specifically for our amusement!
Um, by the way, can I ask a couple of questions?
Yeah, Ok, Thanks, Bye.
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A new convict arrives in prison, and he’s sitting in his cell with his new cell mate. Suddenly someone yells “243″ and the whole cellblock starts laughing. A little while later someone yells, “23″ and again everyone starts laughing. This happens every day between 2pm and 3pm.
The new guy has no idea what is going on, so he asks his cell mate, “what’s so funny”? The cell mate goes on to explain, “There is only one book in the prison, and it’s a joke book. We’ve all read it so many times that we’ve memorized the jokes. So now, we only have to hear the numbers.”
So, the new guy goes to the library and studies the book. After a couple of weeks he’s ready… Two o’clock rolls around and someone yells, “119″. The whole cellblock erupts in laughter. The new guy yells “198″. There is dead silence.
He asks his cell mate what happened? The cell mate replies, “Some people can tell a joke, and some people can’t.”
My brother-in-law Jason sent me this one. It’s an instant classic and the lyrics are brilliant! “…I got the swagger of a cripple!”
So if any of you woke up today, looked in the mirror and just had to say, “I’m awesome!” Well, this video from Spose is for YOU!
Ok, lets just start out by saying that Neg Dupree is my f’ing Hero! and yes, this is going to be one of those posts that is NOT kid friendly. Neg is a foul mouthed Brit who probably shouldn’t be let out in public. But MAN am I glad he’s free to roam the streets!
There is a TV show called Balls of Steel, and Neg produced a whole series of “Urban Sports” that ran on the show and… well, take a look at them for yourselves. Must be the funniest things I’ve ever seen. Whoop! Whoop! By the way, you can follow Neg over on Twitter, or Facebook as well as his personal site.
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I believe that Jake and Amir accurately summarize all of the points about why I think the iPad is such a revolutionary tool. You’d be wise to heed their advice and run out and get one. Or two. BUT NOT THREE!!!
Of course, I am going to give one away soon, so you could also just try and win it…
