The Definition of Heaven and Hell

I think this guy’s shirt says it all…

Heaven is where the police are British, the chefs Italian, the mechanics German, the lovers French and it is all organized by the Swiss.  Hell is where the police are German, the chefs British, the mechanics French, the lovers Swiss, and it is all organized by the Italians.

And You Never Thought This Day Would Come

Man, now that I’ve seen this, I’ve got a lot of stuff coming my way. Lets see, there are at least 50 hot women who owe me a date. I’m expecting three raises. I’ll be winning the lottery any day now. And I should be allowed to run right out and buy my brand new Lamborghini!

When Hell Freezes Over