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Jokes


Joke: The Shark Challenge

by John P.

A millionaire decides to throw a huge party for his 50th birthday. During the party he grabs a microphone and announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with two great white sharks in it. ‘I will give anything they desire of mine, to the man who swims across that pool.’

So the party continues with no events in the pool, until suddenly, there is a great splash and all the guests of the party run to the pool to see what has happened.
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Joke: The Talking Clock

September 26, 2010
Thumbnail image for Joke: The Talking Clock

A college student had some friends over to show off his new apartment, when one of them asked, “Hey, what’s the big gong and mallet for”? “That’s the talking clock!”, he replied. “How does it work?”, asked the friend? Without a word the college student took the mallet and hammered the gong as hard as [...]

How to Get Out of a Speeding Ticket

July 9, 2010

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding. Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one. Officer: Don’t have one? Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving. Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please. [...]

Prison Joke

May 18, 2010

A new convict arrives in prison, and he’s sitting in his cell with his new cell mate. Suddenly someone yells “243″ and the whole cellblock starts laughing. A little while later someone yells, “23″ and again everyone starts laughing. This happens every day between 2pm and 3pm. The new guy has no idea what is [...]

The Story of Penis van Lesbian

December 14, 2009

A good looking man walked into an agent’s office in Hollywood and said ‘I want to be a movie star.’ Tall, handsome and with experience on Broadway, he had the right credentials. The agent asked, ‘What’s your name?’ The guy said, ‘My name is Penis van Lesbian.’

The Secret to a Long Life

June 11, 2009

A doctor on his morning walk, noticed an older lady sitting on her front step smoking a cigar, so he walked up to her and said, “I couldn’t help but notice how happy you look! What is your secret?” “I smoke ten cigars a day,” she said. “Before I go to bed, I smoke a [...]

The Blonde Joke to End All Blonde Jokes

May 20, 2009

Ok, we’re going to start a whole new category here on OMB. I haven’t added any categories in a long time, but I just realized that I’ve got no jokes on my blog! That is inconceivable! Anyway, here is the inaugural joke. Sent to me by my dad, and previously sent to him by a [...]

A Compendium of Office Pranks and Practical Jokes

February 23, 2007

Yesterday’s post about the Annoy-a-tron brought back fond memories from long ago when I worked in an office where people actually liked one another and we all used to pull practical jokes. In fact, we were very competitive about our pranks, with each of us attempting to out do the other. Here now is a [...]