The Life and Suicide of Bill Zeller

Bill Zeller was a PhD Candidate at the Center for Information Technology Policy, which is part of Princeton University‘s Computer Science program. Last Sunday he took his own life and left a detailed suicide note explaining his rationale. If you’d like to learn a little more about Bill, you can visit his personal site (for as long as it remains up), read his Twitter stream, and see his Flickr gallery.

Although the outward signs of Zeller’s life might seem normal enough, he was apparently battling a raging fire of torment inside caused by sexual abuse as a child. Something he shared with no one until his death. It goes to show you how terrible that kind of abuse can be, and what should be done to the perpetrators.

It also raises the questions about the morality of suicide. As Bill puts it:

“People say suicide is selfish. I think it’s selfish to ask people to continue living painful and miserable lives, just so you possibly won’t feel sad for a week or two. Suicide may be a permanent solution to a temporary problem, but it’s also a permanent solution to a ~23 year-old problem that grows more intense and overwhelming every day.”

Personally, I believe that people should be able to not only determine how they want to live their life, but also how they want to end it. It reminds me of the story of the elderly British couple who committed suicide together.

And now, the final message from Bill Zeller (set aside some time, its over 4,000 words):
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British Couple Commits Suicide Together After 54 Years of Marriage

Edward-and-Joan-DownesJust a few weeks ago my beloved dog Sandy came to the end of a long and debilitating struggle with kidney failure. My wife and I did everything we could to prolong her life and make her happy and comfortable, but none of us can cheat death, and eventually it was upon us.

One of the most difficult decisions of my life came when I was forced to choose to euthanize my faithful companion of more than a decade. It was compounded by a feeling of guilt – not that I had acted too soon, but that perhaps I had waited too long out of grief and a sense of personal loss. I remember wishing for days that she could tell me if it was worth living, or if she merely wished she could die.

When we finally had our vet come to the house and put her to rest it was a traumatic experience for the family, yet the death was so quite, fast and peaceful that not only did it remove any feeling of lingering doubt that we had done the right thing, but it made me consider my own mortality and caused me to realize that ultimately I would rather be able to go like this, than be imprisoned in a body stricken with ailments, waiting for death to take me.

Well, this is the situation that Sir Edward Downes, and his wife of 54 years, Lady Joan, found themselves in. And luckily for them, they were able to make the decision to leave this world on their own terms. I only wish that we had the freedom to choose for our selves here in the USA.
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