John P. Lecture – Jan 30, 2010: Make More Money with WordPress, Social Media and Analytics

John PWell folks, in about two weeks, on January 30th at 4pm, I’ll be giving a complete lecture on basically everything I know about how to have a successful blog. I’m going to deal with the topics of revenue generation, social media integration, analytics and measurement, and God only knows what else! It’ll probably be like a 1.5 hour lecture, so be prepared.

Now there are a lot of local folks who are always asking me for help and advice with your Websites. This is your chance to not only get a very hefty bit of information out of me, but to meet other people who are also interested in the same thing. So, be at this event because as you all know, I don’t have time to do this sort of thing very often. Also, the event is already overbooked so you need to register FAST in order to have a shot at getting in.
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Should Fat People Be Allowed to Fly?

Kieran Daly wrote an article called Passenger creates big debate at American – I mean big! a couple of weeks ago. The story originated as a result of the following photograph taken by a flight attendant aboard her flight while the plane was boarding.

Fat Guy on Airplane

Now anyone who has to do a lot of traveling can empathize with the guy in the middle seat here who is stuck by this morbidly obese person. God knows I’ve had experiences where a huge person has spilled over onto me, and frankly I don’t want another person touching me for even a second, much less hours on a long crowded flight.
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Dear FTC, You Can Kiss My Blogging Ass!

Kiss My ButtAt least three people have asked me what I think about the new FTC guidelines dealing with Bloggers who accept freebies. For those of you who didn’t know it, the rules went into effect on December 1, 2009 in the US, so if you have a blog you better be aware of what we’re talking about.

Here is the video summary, straight from the horse’s mouth:

Now, let me be as clear as I can possibly be: the people behind these “updates to the guidelines” are 100% dead wrong, exhibit a complete and total lack of understanding of the Blogosphere, and have just wasted a whole lot of time and taxpayer money focusing attention on an issue that they neither can, nor should, enforce.
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A Philosophical Look at Marriage: Straight, Gay, Polygamy… Who Cares?

Guy With HornsHere is a question: There is a couple that wants to get married. The guy is a satanic priest with body modifications including piercings all over his body, horns implanted under his skin on his shaved skull and tattoos from head to toe. Let’s also imagine he’s also a convicted rapist, wife abuser and pedophile. He has been legally married and divorced 18 times, he is 44 years old, and he’s a crack dealer.

HookerIt is the girl’s 18th birthday today. She has a 6th grade education and was from Mississippi before running away and living on the street as a prostitute in California. She is utterly addicted to crack (and he’s her dealer). Legally can they wed?

Of course the question is rhetorical! They are two “consenting” adults. The fact that most people would agree this marriage is doomed to failure and divorce is of no legal consequence. The law is blind to all circumstances other than the fact that one man and one woman may wed.

The Quandary

LesbiansHow about this scenario: There is a couple that wants to get married. The woman is 33 years old, holds a PHD from Stanford, is a renowned scientist and educator and runs marathons and volunteers at a women’s shelter in her spare time. The other woman is 32 years old, holds a PHD from Harvard, and recently won the Nobel Peace Prize for her work in a third world country which brought about the end of hostilities. They have been living together for 8 years and are deeply in love with one another in a committed monogamous relationship. Legally can they wed?

Although their relationship has already outlived the national average life of a traditional marriage, and although they are both brilliant women who are stellar contributors to society, of course they cannot wed. Because again, the law is blind to all circumstances other than the fact that one man and one woman may wed.
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Hey, How About NOT Being an A-Hole?

Gorilla with an AttitudeHave you ever been to the zoo? I was at the Dallas Zoo the other day, staring at the primates. Don’t worry, they were staring right back. Anyway, this big male gorilla, who had been sitting quietly with a couple of females laying around nearby, suddenly just got up and freaked out.

Now, I should emphasize, nothing caused this. Seriously. He’s a gorilla. There is nothing to piss him off. But all of a sudden, he got in a bad mood and started taking it out on all the other gorillas nearby. They are all running in fear, the people staring at them are freaking out, and I’m just thinking… you big, dumb ape.

Well, I expect that creatures who lack the ability to use a spoon might be wild and unpredictable. But you know what drives me crazy? Humans who do the same damn thing!
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The Geeks Shall Inherit the Airwaves – Why Economics Are Killing ‘Old Media’

media-is-deadFor a long time now I’ve been hearing people predicting the death of traditional media (you know: television, radio, books and newspapers). “Old Media is dead! Long live New Media!”

This is 50% crap, but it’s also 50% true. And since I’ve been fielding a lot of questions about this lately, let me see if I can break it down for outsiders in terms that are a little easier to understand and have some actual logic behind them.

The real magic of “new media” has nothing to do with the people. It is quite simply all about the delivery mechanism.

An Academic Explanation Using Simple Economics

Car FramesIn any industry, the cost of goods produced are ultimately borne by the buyers of the finished product. So, for example, if the price of steel goes up, the price of automobiles goes up as well.

But imagine a situation where a radical new material is developed that costs 1/100th the price of steel, but which is actually stronger, can be made in an ordinary kitchen, and can be used to build cars just as well!
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OXI Day: How the Greeks Helped End World War II

Greece Fights OnToday, October 28, marks the anniversary of one of the most important days in the history of the world, yet few people remember it’s significance. But the Greeks do, and they celebrate OXI day, every year.

The day was October 28, 1940. At dawn that morning (4:00am), after a party in the German embassy in Athens, Mussolini (through Emanuele Grazzi, the Italian ambassador in Greece) issued an ultimatum to Greek Prime Minister Ioannis Metaxas to surrender, or face open war with Italy.

Metaxas, a career military officer and more importantly a proud Greek, was not inclined to acquiesce to Mussolini’s demands (surprise!), thus touching off the beginning of the Greco-Italian War and a series of unbelievable events that would eventually neutralize Italy, cripple Germany, and cost 1,000,000 Greek lives.
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John P. Updates for All!

Howdy gang!

I’ve been a little slow in updating the blog lately. Sorry for my lack of entertaining everyone as usual. Hope to get back to the fun stuff soon. However, in the meantime here are some updates:

  • Alex Terehoff, a Russian blogger, interviewed me recently, and posted the whole thing in both English and Russian. I think it’s the most thorough interview I’ve ever done. So if you want to know anything about me, he probably asked!
  • The big news is that Woopra is coming out of beta. Here is a blog post and a video of me explaining what is going on. We’re taking all feedback into consideration, so feel free to share your opinion.
  • Tomorrow I’m leaving for Photoshop world in Las Vegas. I hope to come back a dramatically improved photographer. If any of you are going please let me know as I’d love to meet you. Just drop a comment below. Heck, maybe we could even put together a little meetup.
  • In a couple of weeks, I’ll be speaking at the Blog World / WordCamp Las Vegas event. My speech will be unlike anything I’ve ever given. So, I suppose if you enjoy my previous lectures, you might not want to miss this one.

But I wonder… what the heck are YOU guys up to? I’m dying to know! So please leave a comment and tell me! Seriously. I’m serious about this. Do it! That is all… :-)

My Entry for Kyle Cease’s Stand Up Comedy Bootcamp

Standup-BootcampSo, one of my favorite comedians, Kyle Cease, is having a course where they teach standup comedy to new and aspiring… um, comedians. Make no mistake about it, I NEVER want to be a comedian. Ever.

But I would like to go hang with Kyle and the rest of the folks and just experience what is going on there? Who knows? I might even do some stupid shit and give a few comedians some free material. One can never tell.

Anyway, Kyle asked people to answer a few questions so that he could choose to give one person a free pass to bootcamp. And I decided to answer just for fun! But since there are like 100+ entries (plus who knows if mine actually gets approved!) I figured I’d share my submission here for you guys to tell me how I did. :-)
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