Years ago while attending the University of Texas at Dallas I took a government class with Dr. Judy Bundy (though I don’t think she’s at UTD anymore). Anyway, she related this story on the chalkboard to the class one day and it stuck in my head as one of the most brilliant analogies I’ve ever heard.
Here is Dr. Bundy’s story:
There was a man sitting beside a pickup truck on the side of the road not far from the ocean. The back of the truck was overflowing with fish and about 50 yards before the truck he had posted a sign which read, “FRESH FISH SOLD HERE”.
Now, although some people did occasionally stop, Dr. Bundy questioned the effectiveness of the sign for the following reasons:
- Is it really necessary to use the word “FRESH”? I mean, no one is going to buy or sell old fish.
- Is it really necessary to use the word “SOLD”? Why else would a guy be sitting beside the road with a truck full of fish?
- Is it really necessary to use the word “HERE”? Um. That seems pretty obvious.
So, what we are left with is the realization that the sign would have been much more effective if it just said “FISH!”
We can call this the principle of “Conservation of Words”, and it should be practiced every time you write.The one exception to this rule is if you are writing a story. Obviously in that case you can be as verbose as you like.
Incidentally, huge thanks to Colby Jones for illustrating this article for us!
Colby is one of the greatest artists I know, and I told him this story and he whipped out these illustrations. Aren’t they awesome!?! I highly recommend stopping by his brand new blog and subscribing for updates. I was his very first subscriber yesterday! woot!
Where I come from, frozen fish is sold alongside fresh fish – both next to the ocean.
It’s a good way of thinking, though.
The beauty of Nabokov is not the one true sentence Hemingway strived for, but the flowers he created using form. If Nabokov wrote like Hemingway, Lolita would not be such a joy to read. On one hand, you have the stories themselves that engages the reader (Hemingway); on the other, it is not what the story is about per se, but rather how the story is being portrayed that makes for the difference (Nabokov). That is to say, it doesn’t matter what Nabokov writes, but the words and the style by which he writes, that makes his work such a joy to read. You can write “this leaf is different from the other,”but it’ s much harder to write, beautifully, about the idiosyncratic nature of a peculiar leaf, and how that leaf differentiates itself from another.
To pander to the “Average Person” who can’t make those inferences, the merchant must be as explanatory as possible. I have many friends/relative who asks all those stupid questions “Is this fresh?”, “or is this on sale?”, or the worst instance when I worked in a bike shop, “do you sell bikes?” I agree with the “get to the point” mentality, but sadly average Joe (the plumber…) needs a flowery story or fancy packaging. So inefficient.
Fresh fish isn’t such a good example as frozen fish is the common alternative. My favorite example is “Fresh Jerky”. Jerky is dried out, preserved meat so it doesn’t matter how fresh or old it is but I see signs in rural areas of California promoting “Best Fresh Turkey Jerky Sold Here” so I guess I can reduce that to “Jerky” now.
Very good point John. If a writer rambles on endlessly they are going to lose the readers attention.
John
This is the script of a famous magic trick called, “Fresh Fish” originated by, I think, Arnold Furst.
The words are printed on a strip of paper and torn away, one at a time.
Then, the whole phrase is restored.
How do we do it? Very, very well!
Whether a writer can be “as verbose as they want to be” depends on how much they care about people taking the time to read what they write.
Great message – makes so much sense! And I love the illustrations – I went and subscribed to his blog, too! :)
The acronym KISS was created for people like me. I’m guilty of answering a simple question with a paragraph or three =P
Ahh, but there is a difference between substance and style. I think we are in agreement about excercising “conservation of words”, although the point is to use the minimum number of words to get the point across effectively.
There is no reason that writing concisely means bland, boring or impact-less.
John
Well, we’ve discussed this a bit already, but for your reading audience I’ll do a bit of a repeat :)
Basically, I agree that verbosity is problematic. However, I also think that in these postmodern times in a way everything has become a story – even history which used to be thought of as fixed ‘truth’ has become more about perspective and the recognition of inherent bias.
Anyway, I could rant for a while but I’ll just say: brevity is good, but flavor is also necessary ;)