Chuck Norris Facts
There seems to be some rumors going around about Chuck Norris and what he is, and isn’t capable of. These rumors seem to be perpetuated partially due to the fight scene I previously shared in which Bruce Lee kicks Chuck Norris’ Ass.
However, I assure you that was merely acting, and in order to clear this matter up I wanted to pass along the following list of facts:
- Children go to bed in Superman pajamas, but Superman goes to bed in Chuck Norris pajamas.
- Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
- Chuck Norris counted to infinity … Twice.
- Chuck Norris can speak Braille.
- Chuck Norris does not read books. He just stares them down until they give him the information he wants.
- Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through dry land.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep, he waits.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t dodge bullets, bullets dodge Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
- There is no such thing as evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
- Chuck Norris is able to divide by zero.
- When Chuck Norris is entering a room he is not turning the lights on. He turns the darkness off.
Now here is Chuck reading through a Top 10 list of Chuck Norris facts:
And finally, here is the story of the Legend of Chuck Norris.
Get the next post by email.
One email per post. Twenty years of this, still going. Unsubscribe whenever.
Hi,
Just to set the record straight … Bruce Lee was always the teacher, and Chuck Norris the student. That’s not a bad thing … Chuck Norris is very cool in his own
right. But if you look at quotes of the time, Chuck acknowledges that Bruce was
the teacher. (I even heard a letter read at a Bruce Lee Memorial Seminar from Mr. Norris, stating so.)
So, yes, they were acting in Return of The Dragon. And yes, history can be rewritten by those who are still alive. And yes, Chuck Norris is alive and a great example of a master martial artist.
And yes, Bruce Lee was his teacher.
Respectfully,
Keith
These are hilarious.. especially the superman one!
hellen kellers favorite color is chuck norris
Bruce Lee is better than Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris speaks braille, do people feel the words coming?
hmmm, I remember some weeks ago I was visiting some friends in Angeles City. We watched some movies in the evening, (high rated “intellectual ???) ..hmmm
I guess “Missing in Action” would have been better.
Kim, better download some of those, hehe
Rhoody
He must be around 108 years old by now, I do remember enjoying his movies as a kid :)
I am tempted to download a few, but I know I will be disappointed – even if it is the great Chuck Norris :)
Kim
haha,, chuck norris is quit the vial name lately ;)
I was going to point this out too :o
His old stuff was so bad it’s classic. It’s a shame our children won’t have to grow up with terrible movie effects pre-CG.
Chuck Norris backs underdog political candidates, but we won’t hold that against him. He is god to many.
Chuck Norris just want to be a live hero, a real hero for children, not like superman, spiderman or other fiction hero..
but it make him silly…
I think this is not a good idea..
I like the Boogeyman one! Too funny!! :D
How do guys like Chuck and The Hoff attain such a ledgendary status? It’s almost like a cult following!
“Children go to bed in Superman pyjamas, but Superman goes to bed in Chuck Norris pyjamas” – classic !