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Home / Movies / Johnny Dangerously – Your Testicles and You

Johnny Dangerously – Your Testicles and You

John P.

February 22, 2009 By John P.

your-testicles-and-youThis brilliant clip is from Johnny Dangerously starring Michael Keaton. Johnny shows his brother a film on testicle safety designed to scare him away from dropping out of law school so he can marry his girlfriend just so he can have sex with her.

This is one of those movies that was highly underrated and from which you get a whole slew of classic quotes!

Danny Vermin: You shouldn’t grab me, Johnny. My mother grabbed me once… ONCE!

Roman Moroni: Why you miserable cork-soaker!

Johnny Dangerously: You got those. I like those on a woman.

D.A. Burr: Don’t worry. It’ll still be here when you get back!

Roman Moroni: You fargin sneaky bastage. I’m gonna take your dwork. I’m gonna nail it to the wall. I’m gonna crush your boils in a meat grinder. I’m gonna cut off your arms. I’m gonna shove ’em up your icehole. Dirty son-a-ma-batches. My own club!

Roman Moroni: This is fargin war!

Jocko Dundee: Take it easy? I’m standing here with my dork in my hand!


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Filed Under: Movies, Videos Tagged With: funny, Movies, Videos

About John P.

John P. is a former CEO, former TV Show Host, and the Founder and Wizard behind Texas Metal Works. You can find him on Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn. Feel free to send shoutouts, insults, and praise. Or Money. Money is good.

Comments

  1. Thomas Spencer says

    February 25, 2010 at 10:35 am

    i could not get the video to play???

  2. Dan says

    March 28, 2009 at 11:25 am

    What are the lines from Johnny Dangerously when the mob boss is trying to let the thug have what he deserves? It goes something like……Let him have it……..no….Give it to him…..no and more I can’t remember

  3. LV Lizard says

    March 7, 2009 at 4:32 pm

    The video seems to imply that I should take care of business myself, however, I have been allowing women to treat my testicles with love and care for many years so I disagree…well maybe not because if I piss one off to the point where she “comes between” my testicles and me (likely Loraina Bobbit style) then the video will hold true….ok now I’m in pain

  4. John P. says

    February 24, 2009 at 1:09 am

    Hmmm. A mystery!

    Let’s see, I pretty well know where most of the folks are from back in the day… But a couple of people in particular come to mind. Either David (last name omitted for privacy reasons), or Michelle (ditto)?

    Now, you’ve bested my Giant, which means you’re quite strong. And you’ve also bested my Spaniard, which means you’ve studied. But you’ve forgotten the golden rule – never go up against a Greek when death is on the line!

    It’s Michelle. Isn’t it? :-)

    John

    PS – I can see that you tried to visit Mike’s Web site from my Woopra stats, so that helps narrow things down a bit. hehehe

  5. O'Henry says

    February 24, 2009 at 12:28 am

    I came across your blog while googling quotes from this movie for my 11-year-old daughter. Pretty ironic considering that you and I saw this movie together when we weren’t much older than she is.

  6. John P. says

    February 24, 2009 at 12:21 am

    Ok, I found another version of it on YouTube and swapped it in here. We’ll see how long it lasts!

    John

  7. John P. says

    February 23, 2009 at 7:20 pm

    hahahah

    This is the curse of my blog! Several of us believe that YouTube is monitoring my posts because things that have been up for years or months disappear within days after I embed them!

    Khan!

    John

  8. Ziggy says

    February 23, 2009 at 1:32 pm

    Bah…the video has already been pulled.

    I need to read John’s blogs quicker! That was a great movie!

  9. fasblog says

    February 22, 2009 at 11:48 am

    LOL, this was mindblowingly hilarious. Thanks for sharing.

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