Bob Donovan, You Sir (and all the Other Spammers), May Kiss My Ass!
Look, there is no delicate way to put this. Bob Donovan, I hereby formally invite you to participate with me in a no-holds-barred MMA style cage match to be broadcast on live television. I’m 100% serious. Because I want to kick your ass, and I’m quite sure I can do it too.
Wait! What’s Going On Here?
My other dear readers may be asking themselves, who is this Bob Donovan, and what exactly has he done to John P.? Well, I’ve got no idea who Bob Donovan is, but what he did to me was send me an annoying Twitter spam with a link to nothing other than an affiliate site (belonging to 10 Best Hosting 2009).
Oh, and that link does nothing other than direct traffic to the Web site link http://www.10besthosting2009.com/#1492937361/. You see that number at the end? I’m sure that is an affiliate tracking link, and 10 Best Hosting is paying this spammer to fish people in to their Web site. That is assuming they are not directly behind it!
By the way, you can’t trust anything that site says about hosting, because all they are doing is listing hosting providers who pay them the most money for referrals. You want independent “reviews”? Ask someone who is NOT getting paid by the people they are “reviewing”.
Back To The Filthy Spammer
But I digress. Back to Bob Donovan. This is nothing more than an automated “bot” which is using the Twitter API to look for the name of hosting providers and respond to the people mentioned in those tweets with a recommendation to follow their affiliate link. It’s merely disguised to look like a person, but it’s just as bad or worse than e-mail and blog spam. And of course I hate all spammers and want them to die!
Notice the Tell-Tell signs of an automated spammer:
- Several posts within seconds of one another.
- All using the Twitter API for posting.
- All with identical wording.
What’s a Boy To Do?
So what did I do about it? Well, if you are using TweetDeck, you can choose the User menu by hovering over the user’s Avatar and then select Block & Report Spam. Which is what I did. But who knows if Twitter will actually do a damn thing about it!
Finally: The Offer
So, the next thing I’ll do is offer Bob Donovan (or whoever is behind it) $5,000 to go three 5 minute rounds with me – full contact, MMA style! So come on Bob! You wanna make some money? Put your body where your bot is.
Oh, and just because I don’t want anyone to confuse the funny, joking, “ha ha” John P. with this offer, let me be clear. I will honestly pay, and this is a bonafied offer for one $5,000 ass whipping to any spammer who will take me up on it.
But make sure your insurance is paid up, because you’re gonna need it!
One email per post. Twenty years of this, still going. Unsubscribe whenever.
Good on you mate. I feel the same about twitter spam, and of course blog spam. But what can you do? Its a dam full time job just to create quality content. thx/lew
I am trying to learn how everything ties together. I started a new blog, lvit.com/lvitblog and I got more actions from spammers than real people. So when you schdule the match, please let me know.
Fred
How about all of the people doing comment spam? This sucks big time, the whole idea of commenting is to open up debate and different ideas. I am a mining goof, whos blog is about mining, no ads, no income just like to share about mining. Over this last week I saw that people are actually steeling comment IDs and adding their own links to it. I found this by chance a couple of days ago. This sucks and does nothing to help a blog and its content. It makes one not want to comment anymore. Cheaters suck. jon:)
LOL John, I just hope a non spammer does not take this opportunity to get his ass kicked for the $5000
Go Bob! It wouldn’t be so bad if the comments were actually giving value.
Good one there Steve S. I too find Twitter a little too messed up. I wonder how the forthcoming rise of Google Wave will affect your prediction of Twitter’s demise.
As for Bob Donovan, I wonder if he knows about his spamming activities. That’s why I’m wary of using these automated programs proliferating out there. You never know what they’re doing behind you.
I’ll back you up but probably not needed. These pieces of filth have ruined Twitter. I have cut back my usage by 90%. Twitter is like Michael Jackson. Super popular but will eventually die a horrible early death. I place no long term value in Twitter right now unless they make changes.
Cool post, John. Spammers will die!!!
The opportunities for spam on Twitter are endless. It makes you wonder how Twitter can hold up as the spammers increase.
Interesting approach to handling Twitter spam indeed. I had a weird one the other night where it actually had about 50 accounts that retweeted what I tweeted but added an additional weird link (which I didn’t click, so I don’t know what it was to…)
I have 10 bucks on Bob…
Just kidding…and I know a guy that works for Spike TV. He helps set up the MMA sites, so if good old Bob accepts, maybe you guys can warm up the mat??? I’m sure Bob’s blood would be perfect to give it that “Someone Just Got Their Ass Kicked” look.
It appears as though The Matrix has you … ;]
Let not The Matrix control your emotional well-being, via seducing you into frustration, over something so silly. :]
You’ll get the $5,000 back by selling tickets! When I needed a robust server larger than the one I use today Layered Tech was the only corporation that met my needs. And I found LT after diligent research and using places like Webhostingtalk. I’ve chosen not to link them here. Heck, who needs linkspam!
What I didn’t do was use any godammed spammer’s recommendation.
Why not?
Well, I was launching (far too late for the market, my error) a dating site and I needed the things LT provided.
When that enterprise proved uneconomical commercially I was also impressed with the smoothness with which I could cancel the contract, despite regrets over leaving a great home.
So take the spamming bastard into the cage and have some serious fun with him.
And offer tickets on Twitter! And, for those of us who can’t get there, make it a video webcast!
While I know you are quite serious about your frustration with Spammers I also found this post to be very entertaining and humorous! Good luck with your quest to make this world a better place by eliminating one spammer at a time. We are all (or at least I am) eternally grateful and will be rooting for you, kick some butt!
This is an awesome post about the frustrating reality of spam. I not only want to take on spammers, but the people that feed them too.
I hope you get a chance to tear into Bob the Bot.
I like your approach to dealing with spammers! They are the bane of my existence, and the interweb will be a much better place without them. I hope you get the opportunity to kick some serious spammer @ss, John!