Just a few weeks ago my beloved dog Sandy came to the end of a long and debilitating struggle with kidney failure. My wife and I did everything we could to prolong her life and make her happy and comfortable, but none of us can cheat death, and eventually it was upon us.
One of the most difficult decisions of my life came when I was forced to choose to euthanize my faithful companion of more than a decade. It was compounded by a feeling of guilt – not that I had acted too soon, but that perhaps I had waited too long out of grief and a sense of personal loss. I remember wishing for days that she could tell me if it was worth living, or if she merely wished she could die.
When we finally had our vet come to the house and put her to rest it was a traumatic experience for the family, yet the death was so quite, fast and peaceful that not only did it remove any feeling of lingering doubt that we had done the right thing, but it made me consider my own mortality and caused me to realize that ultimately I would rather be able to go like this, than be imprisoned in a body stricken with ailments, waiting for death to take me.
Well, this is the situation that Sir Edward Downes, and his wife of 54 years, Lady Joan, found themselves in. And luckily for them, they were able to make the decision to leave this world on their own terms. I only wish that we had the freedom to choose for our selves here in the USA.
According to the UK’s Guardian:
One of Britain’s most respected conductors, Sir Edward Downes, and his wife, Joan, a choreographer and TV producer, have died at an assisted suicide clinic in Switzerland, their family said today.
Downes, 85, was almost blind when he and his 74-year-old wife, who had become his full-time carer, travelled to Switzerland to end their lives, a family statement released to the BBC said.
Born in Birmingham, Downes had a long and distinguished career, including conducting the first performance at the Sydney Opera House. He worked with the BBC Philharmonic and the Royal Opera House in London.
The statement from the couple’s son and daughter, Caractacus and Boudicca, said they “died peacefully, and under circumstances of their own choosing”.
The statement continued: “After 54 happy years together, they decided to end their own lives rather than continue to struggle with serious health problems.”
The couple died at a clinic run by Dignitas, the Swiss organisation that operates a specialist euthanasia service.
In my opinion, the notion of a society making assisted suicide a crime among humans, while allowing the very practice with our animals is the absolutely pinnacle of hypocrisy. On one hand, we recognize that the suffering is so great that death is a better substitute – but we then imagine that it simply doesn’t apply to humans?
The problem we have is an over-estimation of the value of life in this case. We actually strip the individual of their own free will to act in their best interests, and instead impose a false concept that absolutely nothing could justify the request to die, nor the assistance given to the individual to do so.
The same people who would often pose religious or sociological arguments in opposition to assisted suicides would be willing to give their own lives in defense of their beliefs. A choice, I would remind you, of one’s own life or death.
As for me, I can imagine any number of scenarios where I would pray for death rather than suffering the indignity of living. I only hope that one day my country wakes up and decides to grant me the freedom to choose my own fate.
This evening I watched a documentary about a Dignitas assisted suicide. I don’t know what compelled me to watch it because it stirred up so many emotions. At worst, I started to think of my two pets – a dog and cat – that were euthanized a couple of years ago. I agonized over both decisions, and wished they could TELL me what they wanted! While I believed I was doing the right thing, and would be there for them until they went ‘to sleep,’ it didn’t help ease my pain.
Given that information, I thought if a person expressed a desire to end their life, because of a terminal disease, I would be supportive. Unfortunately I felt like a desperate voyeur. I wanted to travel back in time and say “don’t do it … I’m sure there’s a better way.”
A better way. Why would I think there was a better way? What was wrong with their chosen way?
It strikes me that the State in making it illegal for someone to choose their own destiny has placed itself in a very dubious and even dangerous position. As John and others have quite rightly pointed out, the USA was NOT formed as a Christrian country and should follow it’s own mandate and support this couple in being able to follow their own beliefs.
I guess you’ll have them arrested, Aaron? “Thou shalt not judge” – now where did I read that … hmmmmm. You know what Aaron, maybe they spoke to God before they came to this decision and he agreed? Strikes me you have made yourself judge and jury over a tragic circumstance you know very little about – mind you, that’s pretty consistent for a bible-basher.
Reminder: Jesus said, “Let no man come between you and your God”. I am sure he whispered afterwards ” … not even Aaron”.
In my pagan way, I pray for this couple, and I pray I will never be in such a sitation where I have to make this choice.
Well, again, I would point out that many people would argue that religion itself is irrational.
Furthermore, I would argue that if I was dying of a painful and debilitating disease, it would be absolutely rational to want to escape that. If drugs and other treatments would not do it, eventually death would be the only option that presented comfort. It would be rational to want it. What would be irrational would be to expect that people would NOT want to die in this situation, and that praying to God would provide any physical comfort.
John P.
I am not saddened by this couples actions. It is, or was, their choice, and rightfully so. I can only imagine that they were both suffering to a degree that made the decision possible, and an intelligent one.
Religion has nothing to do with this, and should not, apart from the beliefs of the couple in question.
The US was founded not as a Christian Nation, as so many would like us to believe. One of the most important principles was that mankind should have a choice of religious freedom without persecution. Many various faiths follow the Old Testament, but there are many that do not. So, to allow the Bible or Old Testament to dictate the political and governmental laws of the nation is very one-sided and anti-American. The constitution was not written from versus of the bible.
I believe that assisted suicide is something that will continue to happen, and that the US will eventually have to consider it as a right, not a crime.
When you remove God from the equation, humans do all kinds of previously unthinkable things and believe them to be rational decisions.
How sad that this woman thought so little of life that she would end hers just to avoid going on without her husband. Though I suppose when one trusts wholly in self, this is the potential outcome.
After 54 years together it is just incredible that two people then made the decision to end their mutual suffering together. The individuals right to decide that it is time to move on from the suffering and the pain after a long and fruitful life should never be compromised, and while I do feel sadness for this couple, I also feel joy for them having been released from the pain and suffering that ill health has been causing them. Their spirits can now soar free and unemcumbered. May they rest in peace.
This post really moved me John, thank you for this.
Sorry Aaron, but the country was purposely NOT founded as a Christian nation. The founding fathers guaranteed that our laws were separate from any given religion, though certainly there is some overlap. So if the sole reason for making suicide illegal was on religious grounds then that is an invalid argument.
And praying to God to end the suffering associated with dying of cancer, or AIDS or some other debilitating disease that kills you slowly over a long period of time is just a silly suggestion. That’s like saying not to bother with pain medication because you could just pray it better.
Oh, and if you think that it’s ok to allow pain medicine, then I’d challenge the notion that it’s any different than allowing suicide. Both of them artificially impact your life. Both could be abused. The whole thing is just ridiculous.
Besides, if you think that suicide would cause someone to go to hell, that is not sufficient grounds to NOT allow them to do it. Jesus instructed you to try and convert people, but if you could not then move on. It is each person’s choice. That is the entire reason he allegedly died for our sins!
John P.
This is such a sad story. I am for assisted suicide if someone is suffering, and this story as well as being sad shows that true love does exist and can be as strong as ending your lives together. I do think we should all be able to decide our own fate and as educated human beings we should be to make our own choices.
John,
The reason we have laws against assisted suicide is because of the religious principles that this country was founded upon. The bible clearly forbids the taken of one’s own life by one’s own hand. However, if one is suffering terribly, they may pray to G-d to relieve them of their misery, either by healing or by death.
Hello David, I think you go straight to heart with this post. Anyone who has had the experience of watching a loved one die slowly in agony cannot but feel empathy for the the person who is suffering to be able to make a choice. You would think in 2009 we could be larger than making everything based on those who are not suffering morality.
The negative of this is that when people are not doing so well and have tension around work they might choose this route which might not be so wise.
I’ve often wondered many of the same things, John – and I know that my dad and my husband both would prefer assisted suicide as opposed to living a horrendously painful, sick life. I definitely remained on the fence. Then I put my own cat to sleep a few years ago – 2005 I think it was. And I slipped a ways farther over into the Dr. Kevorkian (sp?) side. It’s definitely such a hard call to make, though, because, there are people who would be just depressed, maybe – that would present themselves as physically miserable – maybe even to the point of making themselves ill on purpose….. Oh, I don’t know…this is one I definitely need to think about more – especially when it’s not so ‘way past my bedtime’! What am I doing up, anyway? Gosh.
“I would never choose the life of a human being over an animal” oops, Freudian slip I meant to say I would never choose the life of an animal over a human being.
I am not saying that I completely disagree with your argument. I do know however if you were trying to convince me by applying the same standards to humans and animals then we need to apply it across the board. Of course I would never choose the life of a human being over an animal except in the rare cases of animal cruelty where deadly force would be required to stop someone in the act of a crime against say a police dog just to use an example. I assume that you are not in favor of jailing every dog that pees in my yard clearly a violation of my rights. Animals cannot and should not be held to the same moral standards of society because they are unaware of those standards therefore applying euthanasia equally to animals and humans cannot possibly be hypocritical. As far as the rest of the argument goes I truly am on the fence. I am not religious but taking your own life just doesn’t seem or feel right. The problem with the liberal argument that really sticks in my craw is like abortions they want to force physicians to perform these procedures even though it may conflict directly with their religious and or moral beliefs. There has been multiple attempts at legislation including a current bill that would attempt keep physicians from refusing certain procedures whether they like it or not. People are offended if you wont perform the procedure and people are offended if you do. Who’s offense takes precedence? Who gets to be the second class citizen?
I’m Catholic, so I’ve been raised to believe that life is important, and that despairing is the worst possible sin. While I do not judge people for what they believe in, I do find it sad that they both agreed death was their only real choice. Perhaps the wife could have found some kind of understanding that would have enriched her life after her husband passed. Perhaps the man would have found a way to live for other things. I don’t like how the article stated that he was blind, making it seem almost like he was so sick anyways.
Either way, I would never force my views on other people. There’s no easy choice, only beliefs. Otherwise, the world would either uniformly accept or reject euthanasia.
well this is something very heavy but it’s true if you are suffering to much it’s better to go why you will keep here in earth if you are suffering more than living they do the best but also at the moment have to be so hard for them and for their family take a decision of never be able to see your kids people that you love and off course your lovely wife that have 54 years beside you it’s really tuff I hope that good have mercy of them and have it in heaven, someones things that this is agains good and no one have rigth to choose where or when die for me is not agains him because jesus suffer for us and he do it with the propose that we dont suffer like him.