GOOD MORNING AMERICA!!! Oh, sorry. Was that too loud? Do you have a splitting headache? Because you were drunk last night, and you’re not going to believe what happened. Don’t worry, you’re not pregnant. But you do need to say hello to your new President – Donald J. Trump. And the J. doesn’t stand for “just kidding”.
Oh, a few other things you should know:
- Russia is using the US Election as evidence that American Democracy is dead. Also, showing naked Melania Trump photos, and playing Trump’s “grab them by the pussy” quote over and over on state TV.
- The global financial markets are seeing unprecedented drops – Mexico’s peso just hit an all time low, Japan’s market tanked by over 5%, the Dow Jones Futures trading is down by 700 (biggest since 9/11) and the S&P was STOPPED after dropping 5%+, and gold jumped by over 4% in one day! God only know’s what’s going to happen to European markets over night…
- Republicans now control the Presidency, the House and the Senate. Which also means they’ll appoint Supreme Court Justices… so there will be absolutely no checks and balances. If you do not subscribe to ALL Republican ideals, well… too bad.
- Marijuana is now legal for like 25% of Americans. So if you aren’t happy about all that other shit above, well, you can get high.
The good news is that nobody is coming for your guns! So feel free to load up on AR-15’s and stuff. Also, since Trump will probably start WWIII, you might want to stock up on ammo, build some kind of fallout bunker, and also get just a shitload of these MREs.
And to sum it all up:
"Grab'em by the pussy" is officially going to be in future history books. Way to go America.
— DaddyJew (@DaddyJew) November 9, 2016
Welcome to the future. Now we get what we deserve.
C. Edmead says
November 11, 2016 at 12:15 amTime to re-read ” When The Power is Gone ” by P A Glaspy