John P’s Weld Shop: Weld It Right and Get Tipped
Every crusty weld you’ve ever seen holding a trailer tongue together in a Walmart parking lot was laid down by somebody who thought they knew what they were doing. Now it’s your turn.
John P’s Weld Shop is open for business. Customers are lined up at the counter with their busted junk: Granny Dot’s snapped table leg, Big Earl’s smoker door, Captain Gus’s aluminum pontoon ladder. You fix it, they yank on it, and if it holds, they tip. Lay a sloppy bead and it snaps off in their hands. In front of everybody.
The better the weld, the bigger the tip. Save your tips, buy better gear, and eventually a TIG machine so you can take the aluminum jobs. And yes, I’m welding in shorts. No, you shouldn’t.
How to Play
- Machine setup: left and right arrows turn the dial, up and down pick the setting. Or hit AUTO and let the machine do the thinking. Dial it in by hand and get it right, and you earn a bonus.
- MIG: up and down arrows steer the gun along the joint. Hold Space to travel. Stay on the joint, keep a steady speed, and watch the meter.
- TIG: same steering and travel, plus tap A to dab filler rod in a steady rhythm. Aluminum soaks up heat, so hold S to ease off the pedal as the weld gets long.
- On a phone: use the on-screen buttons.
Finish your shift, put your initials on the leaderboard, and bookmark this page. If you can’t crack the top 50, maybe stick to duct tape.
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