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Home / Dear The Man / “Intimate Activities” Result in Apartment Complaint

“Intimate Activities” Result in Apartment Complaint

John P.

August 18, 2008 By John P.

Intimate Activities Apartment ComplaintDear lord, this is funny. The following letter is not made up. It actually happened to a friend of mine who shall remain anonymous (for his wife’s sake, since he’s quite proud of it). Last week after running errands his wife came home to find the following letter attached to the front door of the apartment:

August 13, 2008
XXXXXXXXXX
Apt #1208

Dear (He Who Shall Remain Nameless),

I’m writing you this letter with regards to a complaint we’ve had from one of your neighbors. This neighbor states they are frequently disturbed by noises coming from your apartment. These noises are not music, slamming doors, stomping, or others of that nature. The Resident claims it is constant banging on the wall and other noises that seem to be associated with intimate activities.

The Resident feels awkward about the situation and therefore has not wanted to knock on your door and discuss it with you. They said this has gone on for quite a while, and they have made comments to management before, but now they feel too uncomfortable and have asked us to address this with you.

Thank you in advance for your cooperation.

Sincerely,

XOXOXOXOXO
Community Manager


By buddy was especially proud of this part, “they are frequently disturbed”. Unfortunatly, he tells me that they definitely got the wrong apartment! Damn.

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Filed Under: Dear The Man Tagged With: funny, Sex

About John P.

John P. is a former CEO, former TV Show Host, and the Founder and Wizard behind Texas Metal Works. You can find him on Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn. Feel free to send shoutouts, insults, and praise. Or Money. Money is good.

Comments

  1. RHB says

    August 22, 2008 at 9:40 pm

    Makes one wonder why the complainant was listening so closely in the first place… no life?

  2. Goran Giertz says

    August 21, 2008 at 10:31 am

    LMFAO! Well the residents of those apartments definitely need to spice up their individual love life instead, then there won’t be any complaining because everyone will be making similar noise. Hahaha… :-D

  3. Rhoody says

    August 20, 2008 at 6:33 pm

    what does “thanks for your cooperation” mean… the community manager wants to join?

    Rhoody

  4. Patrick Havens says

    August 19, 2008 at 10:17 pm

    Why am I reminded of a scene from Office Space? lol, thanks for sharing.

  5. badgirl says

    August 18, 2008 at 9:00 pm

    If your buddy says it’s the wrong apartment, he might have a problem he’s not even thinking about. What is his wife doing when he’s not home? Something to wonder……

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